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Why can't I trust him? Need help please!

Okay, he gets home at 6:30pm after having left to work at 4:30 am. He does have to drive one hour each way to get to work. The problem I am having is why he won't even call me once at least to tell me how he's doing or at least to tell me at what time I can expect him home. I don't call him at work because I don't want to interrupt his work or slow him down and he knows that. So he gets home and I admit I was a little pissed by then and start asking him why he is now getting home and why can't he even call once. And he starts getting defensive and the only thing he tells me is that he was at work and he just got off and it took longer because of traffic. Then proceeds to walk away like always and tells me that he has to go back to work tonight at 10pm. I have always told him that I will never try to trap him down so if he ever thought about cheating on me or doing something to just tell me and I will leave him ...con't

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • alone to be happy with someone else. He has given me a lot of reasons in the past to not trust him, except cheating. He has never to my knowledge ever seen any signs of him cheating. But just his reaction just drives me crazy. And my mind starts running wild. Please no bashing, I know being jealous is not a healthy thing in a marriage, but what else am I supposed to think when everything is left for you to wonder because he won't speak or say anything. Please give me your advice. Thank you

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • do you actually think your man would cheat on you? if you say.."i dont know" then thats bad in itself. sometimes my mind wanders into that but as soon as it does i tel myself how silly that is because I KNOW he'd never cheat on me. i don't think your husband is cheating.based on what you described. trust is key in a marriage. i think its just you. your issue. i think you are self conscious. and thats why you're blaming him for this. look into yourself and find confidence. this isnt any of your mans fault.


    Answer by naturepeace at 10:35 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I don't understand that he gets home from work and then he has to back to work in just a few hours later. I think that you really need to be checking things out and I would call him at work TONIGHT to make sure he is there and if he isn't then you ever reason to be in the mood your in right now. Something sounds fishy to me also. If he is not a doctor and he doesn't own his own business then what the hell does he have to go back into work for.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • ah sorry..i forgot to add in about the going back to work..first what type of work does he do? if its not like the pp stated then i would be calling him tonight..THAT is a little fishy but dont jump to conclusions.

    Answer by naturepeace at 10:40 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • You are trapping him by always asking questions. My DH works at 9 am and gets home around 10 pm. He calls sometimes and other times he doesn't. I have never once been concerned about his faithfulness because I know that he loves me and our family. Have you been cheated on before? If so, that is why you have problems trusting him. And as far as him working again at 10, why would he want to be around someone who is always accusing him of things. He probably wants to come home and relax. If you give him this, he might be more open with you about his day.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:42 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • To everyone who responded to my post above I want to thank you and tell you I appreciate your comments. I do want to clarify some things. He does work two jobs but today he only had to work one. Also, I don't normally greet him like I did today, usually I try to greet him in a positive and loving way. Have I been cheated on before yes but he was just a boyfriend and I really didn't care much for him. So this boyfriend's cheating really didn't bother me, it was more of a relief for me to end the relationship. I hope I was able to answer a few of your questions. Thank you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • He doesn't know what to say to you. He probably figures better to say nothing since you are so irrational. You are pushing him away. I feel for the guy. Lived with someone like you for a few years it was a miserable life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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