Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you get a one year old to behave?

My daughter screams shell throw things. She know the word no because shell turn to me and cry when i say it. How do i get her to listen and understand me without swatting her hand. Wich is something i would like to avoid completly if at all possible.

Answer Question

Asked by zoeysmommy4 at 12:07 AM on Oct. 6, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Try not to say no so much. It is bedtime, do you want to read this story or this story. It is not good to throw, but all children do it. I would take her, help her pick up the object and put it on shelf or toybox. good luck.

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 12:22 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • One might be a bit young to really understand you. She screams and throws things because her brain isn't developed enough to control her emotions. You can try to distract her, pick her up and carry her outside, you could also try just walking away, when she's having a tantrum. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, that will just reinforce the behavior. I also wouldn't hit her, current research has shown that it's not effective in actually teaching your child right from wrong, and that children who are hit (swatted, spanked, whatever the hell you want to call it) are more aggressive and violent then their counterparts.

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:23 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • When my dd was about that age she had a bad case of the Mommies. She simply wasn't happy unless she was in my arms. If I was doing something where I could not pick her up she would scream bloody murder. She would continue this until I picked her up. About this same time I had to put her in daycare and the lady that ran that daycare explained it to me like this:

    You are the big cookie. She wants some of that big cookie. She needs to know that she can only have the big cookie as a reward for behaving and when she misbehaves she can't have the big cookie. It's hard as hell for the first few days but it does work. Talk to her in a normal calm tone of voice and don't rise to the bait. Keep talking to her and ignore that fact that your sweet little angel has been replace by an extra from a Wes Craven movie. Try to engage her in a conversation.


    Answer by always_chris at 12:23 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • continued....

    Say things like, "I think when I'm finished here I'd like to lay on the floor and color for a while. What do you think? Does that sound like a good idea?" Keep talking to her about how much you would like to do things that you know she likes. When she begins to calm down put down whatever you are doing and reward her with your physical attention. Hug her and kiss her and tell her how much you appreciate her being patient.

    After a few days your little monster will be replace by the child who sits and waits patiently for you but will probably take this opportunity to talk to you about whatever is on her mind. This usually means that she will start telling you stories about her favorite characters of which you will only catch a few words but play along.

    It is heartache for the first few days. I promise you it will be worth it.

    Best of luck

    Answer by always_chris at 12:29 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • The book Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary is great.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:02 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • When my one year old misbehaves it is a clear play for attention. He pulls the info card out of our cable box and runs with it laughing because he knows I'll chase him. I just get down on his level, I look him straight in the eye and I firmly say "NO." Then I bring him over to his toys and I give him something to do that is not disruptive. If he continues to misbehave after that I will take him upstair to his room and read stories so that he calms down. Time outs at this age are not like the typical "sit in the corner" sort of outs that they will be later. It's actually a break, for both of us, from what we're doing. He gets frustrated, and so do I, so we'll just remove ourselves from the room and read a story and then come back. It usually works out pretty well.

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:11 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Past time to start time outs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.