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DH and I do not like DDs BF... want to use a bit of reverse psychology. What would you allow as a "date"?

They both know how we feel (she knows exactly why...he just thinks we don't like him) . Really don't like him around, but....any ideas? Both are 15.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Oct. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • Give it a little time. I remember being 15. She won't stay with him long... act like you really like him, that'll spur her to not be around him just for spite. It's how teenagers (some, not all) are sometimes. She doesn't WANT you to like who she's with.

    Answer by Gremlyn at 9:08 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • every teenager/parent relationship is different, i never went through much of a rebellious teen stage, and I did always want my parents approval of who I was dating, but it was obvious when they didn't.

    my advice would be have a double date dinner with them, preferably at home and try to get to know him better, so she knows you're at least trying to see what she sees in him, and then again that might just embarass her enough to give up, my first boyfriend came over for a family dinner and my sister and parents proceeded telling all my most embarassing stories, and my dad even farted at the table... classic. you could even make it a requirement for everyone she ever dates to have a parent double date, then that will make her consider who she's bringing home.

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 9:15 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Since dating is for the purpose of selecting a lifetime mate, I think at 15 neither one of them is ready to be dating. That being said, I would be pointing out to her that character is what counts over the long haul, and if you see obvious character flaws in the boy, I would be pointing those out to her. Does he lie or manipulate the truth? Is he dependable? What kind of work ethic does he have? What's his home life been like up until now? Secure or shaky? What kind of guy friends does he hang with? Is he someone who keeps the rules or is he always pushing the envelope? You get the idea!

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:19 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I had specific rules about what forms of dates were acceptable at certain ages. Throughout most of high school I was allowed on group dates with my friends that my parents knew very well. The boys who wanted to date me could attend church youth group events with me. They could also come to dinner, go to the pool with me and my siblings, or go on family outings like hiking. The rules were set before the boys were even an issue. The rules applied to all boys, even the ones my parents didn't like.

    Answer by ecodani at 9:46 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Only under your supervision. That should pale the attractiong pretty quickly.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:33 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • i hope you have a really good reason why you dont like him, or else thats kind of mean.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:53 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Invite him over for dinner; treat him like your long lost son, welcome him with open arms. Either your daughter will give up, or you will discover that he is not so bad.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:12 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I don't know what to tell you,because I didn't allow my daughters to date until 16, I don't like the idea of kids walking around talking about having boyfriends,my youngest DD will be 15 next week,yes,she tells me all her friends are dating,yes, she tells me she likes boys,and I tell her,all of these are natural feelings,I let her know she is suppose to like boys,but,she still have to wait until 16 to start dating,and going out with a boy,her first dates with be  double dates.I always let my daughters start taking boys calls at 151/2. So far this has worked out for my older daughters.If, you don't feel comfortable around this young man,remember you are the parent,parents have to learn how to be loving,understanding,but,stick to your morals of how you want to raise your child.It does help me alot when when each older daughter talks to the younger daughter to offer their help.


    Answer by lady-t3984 at 3:19 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

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