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Should he be told?

My uncle is in the hospital with severe pneumonia. Before going there, he was in a rehabilitation center recovering from an accident where he sustained life-threatening injuries. His sister passed away on Sunday and her funeral is tomorrow. Either way, he would not be able to attend the funeral (in another state). Do you think he should be told that his sister has passed away while he is in the hospital? They are from a large family, but were very close. Do you think they should tell him now, wait until he leaves the hospital or ask the Dr. if they think he could handle the news in his condition?

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Asked by jjamom at 11:41 AM on Oct. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (299 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I would tell him...if they are that close, witholding the info may make him resent it.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Oh boy....tough call, but yes, I think he needs to know also. I would talk to the doctor first before breaking the news to him...but, I think he does need to know...

    Answer by jlm202610 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I would tell him

    Answer by ria7 at 11:54 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • yes i would tell him. he deserves to know. i would have the doctor in the room when you tell him. sorry about your loss. GL

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 11:57 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I would talk to the dr first. That way, they can at least be prepared if something happens from the news. I do think he should be told, but I would also take into serious consideration anything the dr tells you. If the dr thinks it's better to wait, ask why and really think about it.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:02 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • tell him

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 12:06 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • ask the doctor first, but i would think that he should be told, he is an adult, and as long as it does not cause stress the he can not take, he should be treated like an adult (a sick adult, but an adult)

    Answer by boredmom44 at 12:20 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Ask the doctor to be ready with something to calm him (medication) and yes, he should be told. It is unfair to not tell him. I found out once that someone close to me died while I was on an extended trip - they decided not to tell me because I couldn't get back and they didn't want to upset me on my trip and interrupt this vacation I had been needing and planning and saving for for a long time. I cannot tell you how truly empty I felt learning later - when I felt it was too late to say goodbye. Even if I couldn't get to the funeral, I could have taken the time I needed to put my feelings at rest with his passing. Don't do that to your uncle. He should be told.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 12:49 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I'd ask the dr

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:33 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Thanks everyone. My mother agrees with you all, that he deserves to know, but some of her siblings disagree and so does his girlfriend. He lives in another state from me, so I can't tell him myself. I hope they end up telling him. He has been very depressed from his accident and his loss of independence, so I guess they are afraid it will make him give up or something. My husband lost his grandmother (who lives in Italy and was going to turn 100 this Sept) last summer when he was out of the country with the military. His mom and sister asked me not to tell him until he came home. I decided to tell him when he called, but it was too late b/c he had gotten access to a computer and went on Facebook and he had condolences on his FB page. What a horrible way to find out!

    Answer by jjamom at 2:17 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

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