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is this something that i should let bother me?

My EX mother in law lives very close to DD's school, closer than i do. I work 8-5, & her father sometimes works later than that. So, paternal grandmother watches my DD and her other 2 older siblings after school. EX in law & i are at odds. We have different views on everything, she oversteps her boundaries to a degree that is unbearable. Although, she takes alright care of the kids.

Anyhow, DD got sick at school today, and the school called grandma, not her dad or I. I really would like to be informed when my DD is sick at school. I did not get a phone call, i can easily leave work to go pick her up. I did put grandma as an emergency contact, but i thought that would be only if the school cannot get in touch with the mother or father. Should i let this go, or should i send her teacher an email or call her? I feel very bothered by it. Is it just because i don't like g-ma?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Oct. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I would call the school and demand to know why you weren't called. It has nothing to do with your relationship with her or are the parent and you should have been notified.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:24 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • i'd want to be called FIRST if it were my child and i like my in laws lol, i'd say something to the teacher like, call me or her dad first, not gma

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 1:24 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Well, the emergency contact is the first & possibly only person the school will call. I would let this one go. Tlk to the school so this can be changed. Your in-laws mean well. Just because you have values that differ from one anther is no reason for you not to get along. Make peace.

    Answer by Amberoz at 1:26 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I don't think you are wrong for wanting a phone call first.  If this had happened to me, I would go to the school and make sure they know to call ME first should this happen again.  As far as the inlaws go, they didn't actually do anything wrong in THIS instance so I wouldn't say anything to them about it.  I would however, make sure it was corrected at the school.  I also don't think that you are only upset because of not getting along with them.  I would be upset if I weren't notified FIRST regardless of who the emergency contact is.  ;)


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 1:30 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • you should have been contacted first (this included father)
    could they have tried and did not get a hold of either one of you?

    Answer by boredmom44 at 1:52 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I would contact the school and let them know you are not happy that you were not notified of your child being sent home sick. I would tell them that they need to call you FIRST and if they cannot get ahold of you, then they call the alternate emergency contacts.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:52 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • "The emergency contact is the first and only blah blah blah..." If that is what they meant that is what they should have said. I expect the school to call me first (I work from home they have both numbers.) If they don't get ahold of me, leave a message to the effect that kids is sick and they are calling the next person on the list. Then if I was in the bathroom I can make arraignments and intercept the call etc. Otherwise my husband is going to be leaving a message of "where the heck are you. Do I really have to leave work and get the kid?" Our emergency card clearly says in the event we can't get you, who is authorized to come get your kid?


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Do NOT let it go. I had to list people in order of "importance" for my son...and I made it VERY clear on his sheet that *I* was to be called first.

    This is a battle you should choose to fight.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 2:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Call the school. Emergency contact is just that. It means when they can't reach either of the parents. You should be the first to know when your child is sick or hurt.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:19 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I would call the school and find out why they didn't call you first, or if they did, what response they got (did your boss get the call and not tell you or say you weren't there or something?). This way, if they just screwed up and didn't call you first, you can tell them not to make that mistake again. And if they did call you and something happened that shouldn't have with someone else (a boss, receptionist, whoever) you can go to that person and make clear to them what should happen when you get a call like that. I don't really think this is something you should talk to the grandma about, b/c unless the school tells you that she came in and requested to be called first, it's not her fault. And even if that did happen, I'd still blame the school for taking the word of a grandparent over a parent.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:30 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

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