Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

so scared

so he wants to try to get back together and he said he never wanted to not be her dad even though he really aint he's just worried he's gonna screw up but he's back to bein a dad but i told him if he is it's never gonna change from here on out it's not fair to my daughter to be confused and stuff cause of him changing his title i'm going to his house this weekend i'm scared though idk what to do should i try it again i've been with him for two years and i still love him i've never stopped and he wants to be her dad should i let my walls down and let him back in????

Answer Question

Asked by katelynnmommy23 at 2:58 PM on Oct. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • No, move on, you can do better, you don't need to be jacked around like that. Your daughter needs stability and you can give her that.

    Answer by QandA at 3:06 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I guess it depends on what happened to cause the break-up, and if it's the first time.
    If so, I wouldn't completely let your walls down, but slowly let him build his trust with you. Trust is extremely hard to earn - especially after a betrayal or a letdown, whatever it may be. He needs to prove himself to you.
    As for your daughter and his relationship, I guess you can't really deny him his child - but you just need to stress that he needs to be there for her whenever she or you need it. He's apparently already screwed up once, but a child is very forgiving... however, they can be easily confused. Everyone makes mistakes, even parents - he needs to realize that and stop running whenever he feels not so very confident.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:27 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • He's not the only fish in the sea. Find out if others would serve you better

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:05 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I think you know the outcome of this story without anyone having to tell you. Does your gut say he has really changed or is your heart just hoping for a change?

    I wouldn't try to stop the relationship but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Try your best to help her father out with becoming a good dad. Be encouraging to him and try not to pressure him. I wouldn't drop her off for the weekend just yet, start small with positive little outings, like trips to a playground. The stronger his emotional connection to your daughter the harder it will be for him to part from her life. Push on the hugs, kisses and I love you cards. He may mess up a million more times before she is a teenager but you tried to give her that bond with her father. When she is older she can decide if she wants him in her life.
    For your sanity, I wouldn't keep up a romantic or emotional connection to him, l think it's best until he is 100% mistake free.

    Answer by lilmommy0416 at 10:58 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
is he hiding sumthing???

Next question overall (Kids' Health)
Two sick kids!