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an aunt trying to take over my roll as a mother

my hubby has this aunt that thinks she owns him.when he was lil his mother put her in her place 5 times.now that his mother has pasted shes doin it again and his mother side of the family is upset.well now im preg with our first and she thinks she can run me and even told my hubby we need to move out of state so she can keep an eye on me bein a mother.shes never had a baby.but she calls everyday to tell me how to do things and that im doin them wrong.and the name james henry to her is just bad that we have to think of a better name.i have told her off so many times and she wont stop and my hubby wont tell her to back off at all i need help.cause if she talks my husband into moveing i will have to divorce him.my only family is here in T.N and so is his mothers family and i dont want to be apart from them cause they have helped us out so much.dose that all this make me out to be a evil person the aunt hasent helped us

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brittanymomma

Asked by brittanymomma at 2:58 PM on Oct. 6, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Wow i just watch a movie on life time about a women that sounds just like this. DO NOT GET BOXES AND MAKE SURE YOUR HUBBY DOESN'T Start packing either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Your not evil. I understand where you are coming from. If you have told her to butt out and it hasn't worked then your husband is going to have to do it. Just make sure that you let him know up front that you just can't take it anymore. You are not moving and that if he wants to continue to let his Aunt run his life that fine but you will have to remove yourself from the situation because it is not healthy for you and it will not be healthy for the baby. More than likely, the threat of his aunt messing up his marriage will be enough to wake him up and make him stand up for you. If not then you need to decide if you can take it any more or not. I would not move to another state because she said so. Tell hubby if he wants to move with her fine but you are staying put. PS, I am also in TN and would never dream of moving somewhere else. All my family is here and I love it. TN is home.
    JEAmom3

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 3:09 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • i think you need to talk to both side's of your family and see what they think tell your hubby what moving might do to your family and stop talking to the aunt i say you should cut her off so if she doesn't like it. it's not her life it's yours and your family not her's you have one on the way it's your family that come's first if she want's to know how thing's are going send her a letter and tell her to get over it your baby your life.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • What's most important? Being your child's awesome mom or being nice?

    If you answered "being nice" you will be miserable. You don't' have to be nice. The only thing you have to do is be an awesome mom! You know this. You just wanted someone to agree with what you already knew.

    Tell hubby that you are pregnant and stress is not good for pregnant women. Tell him his aunt is a stress goblin. Give him the good parent vs play-nice talk. Explain to him the best thing for the baby is for this woman to calm the hell down.

    Perhaps auntie could direct some of her energy into foster care? She's an expert already on this parenting thing and those kids need her.

    Hubby's try to make all of the women happy all of the time. They hate it when we get mad or cry. Understand that he's just trying to do the impossible when dealing with her. Put your foot down and tell him you're not moving. Be honest and upfront.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 3:22 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

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