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What to do about my daughter?

My daughter started Kindergartner last month and we have already gotten two calls saying she has been dishonest about where she is going and found in other parts of the building. She is also not following rules or listening to what the teacher is asking from her. She has been having problems at home as well and she is grounded. No toys and no TV. She has coloring and thats about it in her room.. What can I do to help her understand why she cant do this? What should I do to discipline her?

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Baileysmom22304

Asked by Baileysmom22304 at 6:43 PM on Oct. 6, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (14)
  • my ss is having the same problems and we took away things like u did and he is doing much better now that he is realizing that there are consequences for his actions
    monroemommyof2

    Answer by monroemommyof2 at 6:44 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Tell her it's for her safety to listen to the teacher and not wander to different parts of the building. Tell her she could get lost and that could be frightening and it could take a while for someone to find her if she was not telling the truth about where she was going.

    Does this behavior happen at home?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:46 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • why on earth is a kinder allowed to go ANYWHERE in the school building alone anyhow???
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:47 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I'm sure you've asked her directly why she is doing this... If she is curious about the school and places that her grade doesn't get to go, maybe see with the teacher if they could do some sort of scavenger hunt (they did that at my kid's school), part of them learning shapes I think. Other than that, to have her talk to you, maybe pretend play/story and see where she leads the story to? As far as her understanding why she can't do that, it's a hard one because you've probably done it all and I would only be repeating. Discipline? Instead of taking things away, how about a reward if she is not found wondering around school for a certain amount of time? Instead of going negative, reinforce the positive? Just a suggestions, don't know how she would react to that either.
    Good luck!
    sauterelledesil

    Answer by sauterelledesil at 6:48 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • We told her the first time that this happened the importance of letting her teacher know at all times where she is going... for example what if there was a fire in the school. I just dont think she takes us seriously and it goes in one ear and out the other. I am really concerned this might be part of ADHD or the other.. My husband had to be medicated Kindergarten thru 6th. Could this maybe be something she is going through or is it just a normal thing. She is a very active little girl from the time she gets up to the time she goes to bed. No stop.
    Baileysmom22304

    Answer by Baileysmom22304 at 6:50 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I'd be disciplining the teacher and not a kindergarten student. How does the child know not to wander off in the school and how does she know where she is going if she is just exploring the school? This is all new to her. She will learn but I don't think she needs to be punished. She has no clue what's happening. She is a child who is curious. That's what they are to encourage, not punish. The school is to blame bot her. Why didn't the teacher know she was gone?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • She wants to be with her cousin that is in 2nd grade and both times she was found wandering off she told the teacher she wanted to be with her cousin. The bathroom is very close to the kindergartner room and she shouldnt have a problem going there and coming back, she has gone to preschool before this year and she knows what she can and cant do, but I really think she is being dishonest cause she wants to find her cousin.. I dont know.. Its just not her being dishonest at school its at home too.
    Baileysmom22304

    Answer by Baileysmom22304 at 7:06 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Is she very close with her cousin? If so, how often do they see each other during the week? If that's what she's looking for, can you try to have her over after school maybe once a week, if your daughter behaves at school, like a reward? I would try that...
    sauterelledesil

    Answer by sauterelledesil at 7:09 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • OK, I sent my answer too quick, if coming over after school is not a possibility, then, how about on Fridays, you make sundaes at home, or go out for a fun treat, or over the weekend, they get to bake cookies together? I would definitely go with a reward, much more than discipline, but remind her, every day when she leaves the house, that she needs to stay with the kindergartners and let her teacher know at all time where she is, for her safety. You have to keep repeating, it's not just her, it's kids in general!!!

    good luck!
    sauterelledesil

    Answer by sauterelledesil at 7:11 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • While I do think you should talk to her and explain why she can't wander wherever, I think you also need to talk to the teacher and find out why she is allowed to leave the classroom alone at all. In my kids' school, kindergarten and first grade classes have bathrooms right in the classroom, as well as a water fountain, so the only time the kids leave the classroom is for recess, music, lunch, and art, all of which they go as a class and with the teacher. And if the child DOES need to leave alone (say to go to the clinic, or the office) either the teacher or the teacher's assistant goes with them to ensure they get to where they need to go. I find it very odd that they would allow a child to leave the classroom by herself for any reason.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:13 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

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