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How do you deal with whining?

Totally sick of SS's whining: whining if he doesn't like what we ask him to do, whining if he doesn't get his way, whining if he doesn't want to try something that he thinks is too hard, etc. etc. etc. He usually gets 3 chances and then loses something, but it happens so much I'm just tired of dealing with it. How do you handle this for your own kids ? Are they allowed to get away with it? What's a better way to deal with it, since his losing things isn't really working?

(And yes, I am a SM but am with him most of the time, so it IS my right to step in and handle this, especially since DH often won't even when it happens when he's around.)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Oct. 6, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • If my 4 year old starts whining I tell him to either cut it out and stop acting like a baby or he will be treated like a baby (and that involves sitting in his room with no tv, toys, nothing because after all babies can't have all that, right?) it usually fixes the whiney problem.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:54 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • My step-kids get to the count of 3 to stop the crying or whining. If I get to three, they go into time out. One minute for every year of their life. Time doesn't start until they finish crying. All but the youngest has quit the water-works.

    Answer by Chris0110 at 10:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • We never put up with whining so they know it doesn't work. I think the instant it started we shut down whatever was going on or told them to explain why they were disatisfied with words rather than whining. It is tough, good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I'm just dealing with a whinny 2 year old so I don't have practical experience but I did go to a seminar that dealt with behavior in the classroom (I'm a teacher) and the advice to change behavior was this. . . give it a name (whining) and then call them out on it. . . "billy, that's whining. Whining doesn't get you what you want. Instead of whining ask for it plainly or you will go into time out" It worked for high school students (not whining though) so it might work for your. . . PS. . . the speaker is Chick Moorman, here is a link to his website, has a number of books about parent/child communication, teacher/student, and even couples.


    Answer by chrissmom734 at 11:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • I have always told my kids if they want to whine, go for it, but take it to their room and then when they're finished, come and tell me all about it. :0) This drives them CRAZY!! It worked on my now 22 year old, and now it works on my 11 year old!

    Answer by Robsmommy at 11:57 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • With my dd it usually works if I say "I can't understand what you are saying when you whine. Please tell me in your normal voice so I can understand you, and then we can talk about it." But the trick is you have to actually be willing to discuss it!

    Answer by jessradtke at 5:33 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My oldest was like that for a while when he was very young. DH and I decided when he whined we couldn't hear him. Because we can't hear whinning. We sat him down explained it to him, that big boys don't whine and Mommy & Daddy can no longer hear your whinning. It worked like a charm. It takes a lot of patience and literally acting like you can't hear him. But, but God it worked!

    Sorry I know it's irritating but as God says, "This too shall pass"

    Also, I'd like to thank you for caring enough to step in and help. SM or not! My DS has a SM and she only steps in to make me feel akward! Too bad it doesnt work like that. Anyway, thanks again!

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 10:05 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

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