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Is he just torturing me?

DH is working out of town all week. He just emailed me a link and when I opened it, it's a juke box playlist of a bunch of songs that plays for me when he wants to dance.

OMG I'm missing him soooooooo much now. While I know that he must be missing me to, this is just torture. I almost want to tell him not to do that anymore - but I know THE WOMAN'S CODE dictates that you never ever discourage romantic gestures.

How do you deal with missing them when you know they won't be home any time soon?

 
PaceMyself

Asked by PaceMyself at 2:23 AM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 5 (75 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Play the music, cry it out, and thank God you have someone to love and who loves you back!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:17 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Me? I just curled up in the fetal position and bawled for a few days. lol.
    But, as time progressed, I just kept pictures around, and kept up a running journal/email, for whenever I felt like I just needed to unload and "talk" to him. I would send it to him, or I would just read through it. I'd reminisce in it and laugh at our "funny times."
    I also kept one piece of him on me, it sounds disturbing written like that! Wow. But, he gave me his class ring, and I kept it around my neck.. Just random stuff like that.
    It was when he left for Iraq the first time around.. hence the bawling... okay, I admit, I did that the second time too. :[
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 2:30 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I know my DH working out of town is NOTHING by comparison to you girls who see your DH get on a plane and leave for another country - I know that. But gosh, when they leave, gone is gone - no matter how far or close they travel. It's almost like you'd give up an arm just to be able to touch them with one single finger.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:33 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Oh yeah. But in the end, it doesn't matter if they've been gone for a year or even 2 weeks! It still feels like forever, and you're just this helpless little zombie who can do nothing but tear up for the first few days. :D
    Even when he didn't go, and he just left for field exercises from anywhere to a week to a month, it was still murder. It gets harder every time, but easier too.
    It almost feels like you've given up half yourself and just waiting to get it back.. patiently...

    And all those sweet gestures are incredibly sweet, but it's terribly agonizing too. You just want to make them stop, but, yeah, you're right, it definitely goes against our nature to tell them to stop being romantic. It's a brutal Catch-22.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 2:47 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • It's bad enough ( or good enough) that he's such a tender, sweet, loving, angel of a man. It's bad enough that I waited my whole life for him, and it's even worse that he makes his best wages having to be away from home. He is gone 2 weeks out of every month. Sometimes they're consecutive, sometimes, not. I hate it so bad, and I try so hard not to cry when he leaves, but I never make it. I will start bawling when I'm packing his bag and bawl right through his goodbye kiss. It must make him feel so terrible to leave me like that every time. But that just how I love him. He says no one ever loved him like I do. And THAT gets me too. I'm just really really missing him tonight. And I can't sleep.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:55 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Awww... That is so unbelievably sweet! Makes me all misty and stuff.
    Is it traveling to random places for his business? Or one certain location? That's just sucky that he has to travel constantly~!
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 2:58 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • You know what?

    I envy you.

    Because I don't get that way. I was the road warrior, and never got that way with missing him while on the road.

    Don't get me wrong...I love my husband to pieces and I did MISS him. I'm just not one to get worked up about that which I cannot change. I just go on to the next thing. For me that works...but I know he'd appreciate me getting worked up a bit more. I just can't seem to accomplish it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:06 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Forgive me for sayig this but agood ol' fantasy and masturbation helps a lonely heart when you are waiting for him!...................Doesn't help much for a woman like me, divorced and STILL fantasizes about ex-husband. lol, toungue in cheek.....like my last post BLAH!!!!!!!
    ItsMeGigi69

    Answer by ItsMeGigi69 at 4:03 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My dh is deployed. He has been gone for over a year and won't be home for some time still. Please, fell lucky he'll be home soon and that you can talk to him all the time.
    As for what I do? I clean. Everything. I can never sleep at night, so I have to have something to do to keep me busy.
    mama4Christ361

    Answer by mama4Christ361 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My husband is gone for a year to Afghanistan. I get busy. I plan intricate sewing projects (sewing and cross stitch are my hobbies). I turn on the news ONLY for the weather. I get too worried when I hear about explosions, bombs, killings in his area. It's bad enough when I hear them over the phone when I'm talking to him. I go on a chick-flick and foreign film marathon, because he HATES those kinds of movies. I write him letters every night, telling him about our day. I plan the care packages I'm going to send him.
    I just started taking TaeKwonDo (a form of martial arts) partly to keep me busy, partly to have something to bond over with our kids-they're both in it, too, partly to get me in shape, and partly because I've ALWAYS wanted to do it.
    And, when I need to, I allow myself to sink into a pity party, eat chocolate, have a good cry, put his cologne on his pillow and hug it tight.
    Good luck!
    debra_benge

    Answer by debra_benge at 6:10 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

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