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Ever feel like your DH is trying to control you?

My DH and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. We have our little arguments but we have really never had any big issues. Although I have noticed that sometimes it seems like he is trying to control what I do. Like hes my dad or something, its really annoying. Like telling me I need to go to bed and I dont need to go somewhere. Then when I dont do what he suggests he says fine do whatever you want, you always do anyways. Im like umm...? Its just strange to me. I feel like maybe its because he works and im a sahm maybe he feels jealousy towards me because its not as big of a deal if i stay up late. Like he thinks I just have all day to do whatever I want and he wishes he had that? Anyone else ever have this problem?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Yes I was a sahm for six months and then after summer once the kids were in school he was on me about getting a job. So I got a job. Which I luv. But on his days off, when I have to work, he tries to convince me to stay home, he will be bored, what will he do......I luv spending time with him, but I go crazy now that all my kids are in school. Now I have a job where I work when the kids are in school. Just ignore him, he will get over it.... They always do :)

    Answer by dolphinkisses at 2:46 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Not that problem, but others... lol. Maybe it is the way he was raised, like he is imitating his father's behavior with his mother. I would just ignore it if I were you, it is really his problem that he needs to learn to get over, not yours. Unless he is complaining about legitimate things that you do that are destructive. Like if you stay up too late and then are not able to get up to take care of the kids or something. Or spending money that you can't afford to be spending.

    Answer by Allie428 at 2:49 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My DH always does the same thing to me. I've told him how i felt but it hasn't stopped. I don't really know why he does this but i just stick up for myself. I agree with allie428

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 3:18 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • It sounds to me like your husband is wanting you to spend that time with him. He's putting it to you in the way he does because if he tells you what is really in his heart, he runs the risk of having you say no to him and that, to most men I know, is out and out rejection. It is now, too, but it's easier for him to take. Men do not express their emotions and feelings the way we women do. Every wife has to learn to read between the lines of what her husband is saying to her. I do not think your husband is trying to control you. I do think he wants more of your undivided attention and he is asking you for it in a way that he feels is safe for him to do. Next time he asks you to come to bed with him, try going with him and see what he has in mind.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:27 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

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