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Im so sorry if I sound like im nagging.but....

I am really upset ,that my daughter of age 13 going on 14 in the end of november. is not interested in having any friends to go out with. and enjoy herself with. I mean I see a group of girls . and I wish my daughter was in a group of friends too. She doesn't have to have many . but I would like to see her in a small group of two or three. at least. I just get so sad seeing her at home all alone. I mean the girls in school seem to like her they talk with her .& they say hi and bye to her when they see her. She is soooo shy I don't think she knows how to go about making friends.
I try to help her but all she does is say okay. but won't do a thing about it. so please can someone help me out with her. I know that she would rather hang out with a group of girls . she told me that.


Asked by incarnita at 8:57 AM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • How do you know the girls at school like? Do you go to school with her every day?
    If she is shy, stop pushing her to do something you want her to do and she does not seem to want to do. Except that your daughter is shy. Probably always will be.
    You never know the kids at school might not like her. And she is just telling you things to get you off her back.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:04 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Maybe getting her involved in some sort of after school activity? Being put into smaller social situations where there is a common interest can sometimes help shy children come out of their shell.

    Answer by Slinkee at 9:02 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I think the previous post is a good one. Try and get her involved in a an activity where kids are. Sports, 4-H, choir, volunteer work like the y-teens would be good. Smaller groups of kids would be good. Good Luck.

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 9:07 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • That's an odd age not to have any friends. Talk to her again, ask her why she doesn't want friends (let her do the talking). Maybe she's being teased, or maybe she's depressed.

    Answer by Kathy772 at 9:08 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I've had my kids the same way at different ages. We can't force friendships for our kids but we can put them in settings in community groups, outside of school especially, where their best skills are used and where 'no one know' the trouble of the school day.

    Like a pp said 4H is good, hospital volunteer work too and scouts. We're in scouts and 4H plus public library teen groups. All of those are not judgmental on academic level of the day or marking period or looks or clothing most fashionable. What are your daughters talents hidden and known outright to you? I'd look into the groups mentioned, they're great for building self esteem.

    Answer by lfl at 10:05 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Art classes, dance classes, volunteering at something she is interested in are all good ways for shy people to start socializing with someone else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Her problem is that she is so shy that I don't think she knows how to make the first move , example: She won't say hi first. she'll wait for someone else to say hi first. She won't ask any of her school mate if they want to get together with her. She'll wait and see if they ask her to do something with them . And sometimes she saids no. Its not that I don't want her around . it s that Im so surprised that someone that age is such a loner. I was the opposite I was always out' my mom begged me to stay in .I said .but im bored in the house.My husband was out all the time too when he was younger he said, so I don't know where she gets it from. Im sorry this whole thing just gets to me.. thats all.

    Answer by incarnita at 3:16 PM on Oct. 7, 2009