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what do i do about my ex's wife again?

ok so i havent been on here for awhile but i wanted to ask people about a problem ive been having with my ex's wife. he and i have kind of been talking again becuase they had a miscarriage and he came into my work (i work at build a bear) to make her a bear and he told me what happened. well she found out and went nuts and has been making my life hell. i asked her husband if he wanted to come over and hang out cuz he use to be friends with my brothers and boyfriend and i figured with all that has happened maybe we should just move on and be there for him. she doesnt agree! she freaked out and called me at work and told me she wasnt going to deal with all this drama agan and i needed to leave mike alone! i dont know what to do! i wa strying to help!

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Asked by sxyang238 at 11:21 AM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (38)
  • You need to let him deal with it and you need to stop inviting him to do thing (even if they aren't with you) since this is only adding to the problem. The easiest way to stop this is to not talk to him anymore.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Do you have kids with him? If you don't, as much as I can appreciate what you want to do and think it's a nice thing, you need to back off. They are dealing with a very stressful situation that by itself can sometimes tear a marriage apart, and if she is jealous or worried that you are in his life, that will not help matters. If you do have kids with him, then I would limit contact to being about the kids and don't get involved in the rest of his life. Again, it's a nice thing you want to do, and I admire you for that, but you have to consider that sometimes being helpful can end up being more hurtful.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • but he needs someone to talk to! he cant talk to her because shes a trainreck.

    Answer by sxyang238 at 11:25 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I'd be pissed if my husband was invited over by his ex too...Especially considering what she just went through with the miscarriage and everything. Are you blind to not see how bad that is? Regardless of your intentions that was messed up and you just need to leave it alone.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:25 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I think he came to see you to talk, but you probably shouldn't have invited him over. I would call her and tell her you have no interest in starting a romance again with her husband. I assume you have kids with him, so even though it sucks, you have to play nice so she won't take it out on your kids. She just had a misscarriage and is probably pretty hormonal now as well. Good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:25 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • You are not the person he needs to be talking to. He needs to talk to his wife, she is going through just as much as he is and for him to be running to his ex is only making it worse for her.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:25 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I agree with his wife. What if you had a boyfriend or husband and his ex was calling him telling him to come over and hang out? I don't think you would like it very much. Do you still have feelings for him? You know women can sense that from miles away. Maybe she is starting to think you may want him back. I would back off if i were you. Just deal with him as a parent and nothing more JMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • but he needs someone to talk to! he cant talk to her because shes a trainreck.

    That is still his problem...he needs to help her work thru this just like she needs to help him...That's what a marriage is.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:27 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I'd say leave him alone, she's went through a lot and she is probably insecure in her marriage after a miscarriage. Stop adding to the problem. Is this also the ex that you mentioned on your page? Maybe you aren't over it, he's married and going through a rough time so you should probably just back off.

    Answer by Mortiferouslatt at 11:29 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I don't think she has kids with this guy..

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:29 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

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