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DS says his History teacher hates him.

He comes home upset and says Mom she hates me. What would you do? He is 16 and I am trying to make him figure it out himself as I explained to him that you will run into many people in your live that you don't get along with so you must tolerate them to get what you need. What do you ladies thing?

Answer Question
 
dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 11:21 AM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Does he give any reasons or explanations as to why he thinks this? Sometimes it is worthwhile for our children (and ourselves, for that matter!) to look at the situation and see if the conclusions we are drawing are actually true and/or logical, and to see what behaviours we are engaging in that may be contributing to the perceived problem. If you sit down with him and help him think through the situation, you will help teach him some problem-solving skills and show him that you really are on his side and are their to help him out anyway you can - but I do agree that he needs to work out the issues with his teacher. And I am not saying it is his fault or he is wrong, but this might also give you an opportunity to dig a bit deeper and see if there really is a serious issue going on or a common problem of not relating positively with someone in a position of authority. Hope this helps...
    LisaLulu

    Answer by LisaLulu at 11:30 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I'd like to add that research done with teens and their interpretations of facial expressions has shown that teenagers often misidentify expressions of fear and pain as anger or disgust. Try to help him figure out what he's observing, in a kind, helpful, and understanding manner.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Help him sort out the facts of the teachers actions and what she says that makes him think she hates him. I would try to go to the school of something and "run into" the teacher, or if parents night has not already happened be sure to go to that to meet her. DS has had this problem twice, in 7th grade he kept telling me that his art teacher hated him but he also hated art and when he started failing I emailed her several times and from the things she said I could tell he was right she did not like him! The other time was with his guide room teacher, who he will have for all 4 years of HS, anyway, they were having problems and she called me with all sorts of attitude eventhough I was clearly on her side from the beginning of the conversation! When I met her the next fall (DS started in Jan. yr before so missed openhouse)she was sweet as pie until I said I was his mom and her total demeanor changed!
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 10:03 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Also if you think he is right and the teacher really doesn't like him this can be a year he learns to get along with people he really doesn't like. I mean it is an important life lesson, we don't always like all of our coworkers, in-laws, ect... but we have to learn how to get along with them.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 10:05 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My daughter had a french teacher who hated her, she had her for two years straught. She used to come home every dqy upset because she had a detention forsimply her bein right and the teacher wrong. I talked to the teacher. Explained the situation. And she tried to change the subject!!! I told my daughter to get on with learning, try her best. And if thr teacher tries to single her out or anything, stand up for herself. Not to the point of me getting called in. But just enough so she can hold her own.
    Ellie_Louise

    Answer by Ellie_Louise at 10:22 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Suggest that he speak with his guidance counselor.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

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