Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you know when enough is enough and to just cut ties with family members?

Answer Question

Asked by Eeveesmom at 11:52 AM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • When you feel you have had enough, when you feel tired of the emotional turmoil involved.

    My final straw was when my unmarried/non children having sister decided she knew how to parent better than I did and then got my mom involved and based it all on my having stopped going to the same church they did.

    Thats when I stopped communication. For me, it was about not wanting my children to feel they were loved differently by my mother and sisters(which they were/are) vs my other sisters kids. When my heart couldnt take anymore and the stress of talking to them was making me crazy. Then my unmarried sister did her thing and that was the final straw.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 11:57 AM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I am having the same problem-it seems like never ending drama and I am just at my limit. To make matters worse-other family members are trying to tell me I am the bad one for not just putting up with it to keep relationships together. But I don't think I should keep having to put up with the crap just because I have always been the one to act mature. Stuff builds up and I just want it to be over for a change.

    Answer by Eeveesmom at 12:01 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • When you feel it's become unsafe, both mentally/physically for you or your children. I did when I was in my early 20's. I'm now 51.

    Answer by EireLass at 12:02 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • When you know that what they are doing is toxic to your relationship and those around you, when it looks like they will effect your relationship with your spouse/children, or when they look to be a danger to either themselves or others and are not willing to seek help.  I have cut ties for a few other reasons, however as an adult those would be my main reasons.  As an adult you may get a gut feeling of when enough is enough, or you finally get to a point where you're fed up if a person continues down a bad path.  It's not worth staying in a toxic relationship, regardless of who it is with, because all it will do is cause problems for you and it will trickle down to anybody around you.


    Answer by Knightquester at 12:13 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I was in the EXACT same boat as eveesmom, I cut them all off pretty much I still visit my grandparents on holidays wich means I have to see parent sometimes but dont reall talk to them.

    Answer by sarahdicksonjr at 12:23 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Your family should never be allowed to make you feel badly about the decisions and choices that you make in life. You are an adult, and your parents have raised you the best that they can and now you are on your own to live as you see fit. When it starts to feel taxing and being around family members gets you down or worse yet makes you question yourself, it is time to confront them. Then question the relationship and decide if it is really worth all of the nagative emotions and hurt that you may be feeling. Our families should lift us up and make us feel good, not bring us down. Sometimes we have to cut these "toxic" people out of our lives for the benefit of ourselves and our children, and while it isn't easy it will be best in the long run. Good luck, I'm sure this is not easy for you!

    Answer by emnasmom at 12:35 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • When you've had your fill, it becomes unsafe for your children or youself. People think just because they are related it's alright to be horrible to each other. I am dealing with that again. I have cut them as much out of mine and my children's lives as I can.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • when you have to ask yourself that question.....i been there...still kinda jus taking a lil break i would say. i havent gone to any family functions no matter how big they are ..only exception was my brothers wedding. i dont really talk to them....i jus need a break from my family..i wouldnt call it breakin ties... jus takin a time out untill im ready to deal with whatever it is im dealin with.

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 1:58 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Family members who have voluntarilary removed themselves from my life, yet they have to inform everyone who we are both acquainted with my business. If you want in my life, keep my business my own. If you have chosen to remove yourself from my life, then STAY OUT OF IT! Don't ask how I am, you don't care. Don't discuss me with my friends like you're my best friend, because you have chosen to leave my life. Don't tell your mother in law somthing that her sister, my stepmother, has any business to know. I keep my father informed of everything. Don't make a fool out of me by dragging my dirty laundry at my class reunion. Get out of my life and stay out! Leave my children alone, stay away from my grandchildren. You can't have both.

    Answer by jimbosmom at 5:31 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • If you're asking this question - you've had enough.

    Answer by MIMI_3 at 11:08 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.