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Should I tell her about santa?

My daughter is 1o & she still believes. We have kept it up b/c we remember how magical the whole santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy thing was. Also this kid is WAY mature for her age & knows way more than most 10 year olds so it trips me out that she hasn't figured it out. She started at a new school & lost a tooth & "the tooth fairy came" & she talked about it in school &people laughed at her for believing. she said to me " I know they are real because you guys wouldn't be mean enough to lie to me all this time about it." I felt horrible! It's gotten to the point that when she finds out shes going to be disappointed that they don't exist but she is gonna be hurt by & mad at us for letting her go to school saying it & shes gonna be embarrassed, & it's just gonna be bad. Her father says it's too close to Christmas to tell & we should let her enjoy christmas, i think it will be hard no matter what. Should we tell her at all?When?

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Asked by shawneewaiting at 1:38 PM on Oct. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • Let another kid tell her about Santa Claus. I found out when I was 7 but pretended I didn't know it was my parents.

    Answer by CarsBars08 at 1:41 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • PS I know my grammar was bad in that post, I went back and erased a bunch of commas and words so I could fit my whole question in the space:)

    Answer by shawneewaiting at 1:41 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Wow. Thats a tough one. I was 11 when my mom finally told but I had kinda thought it was a lie anyway. But I wasn't angry at them. I dont even think I was disappointed. If she's mature enough, just explain thats it a fun part of childhood innocence, that with all the bad things in the world, you wanted her to still have the childish fun and have some innocence to last as long as it could.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • i would tell her, shes already going to be disappointed in you, so if you tell her now that gives her time to come to terms with it, shes already flat out asked you a few times and said i know you wouldn't lie (she sees it as a lie, a few more years she'll realize it wasn't a lie)but i would tell her, let her know christmas will still be done the same way etc...but that santa is more the spirit of christmas than an actual person.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:44 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • yeah she might already know about it just kinda let the santa talk go off... the less you mention the idea the less it is fed

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 1:44 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I'd tell her the truth and say it in a way that focuses on community spirit an the different holidays explaining that's why there are so many santas all over, because the sharing of kindness and respect and love of God is what Christmas is.

    And the tooth fairy can be explained that again its' worldwise or national community spirit - parents collect teeth saying its a magical tooth fair because, unlike you dearest loved daughter - somechildren are very very sad to give up a tooth like- some children are very very sad to give up a paci binky when they are babies. A parent taking teeth making them feel extra special with their sleeping child.

    10 years old believing in this stuff is really tough, the teasing has started already. Don't let it continue.

    Answer by lfl at 1:48 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I would, because of WHY she believes. It may not make sense to her anymore, but she is holding out "because you wouldn't lie to her." And if she's being teased because she believes... it's really that she trusts you more than the other kids. How's she going to feel when she find out the kids are right - her parents are lying (that sounds harsher than it's intended)? She's going to wonder what else these kids know is true that she doesn't. You don't want her wondering what else you are "lying" about.

    Since other kids are involved at this point, yes, tell her. If no one was saying anything, it wouldn't be a big deal.

    Answer by apexmommy at 2:05 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • And maybe since it is getting close to the holidays, you can have her help create a new tradition, now that she is more "adult." You can make it a rite of passage thing, to soften the blow.

    Answer by apexmommy at 2:06 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My kids were will to played along with us for the longest. LOL

    Tell her sometime after holidays. Then tell her that you loved her enough to let her have children hood memories of fun and fantasy. Just as simple as that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • My son was the same way. I told him when he was 11. I was afraid he would mention it to his friends and they would make fun of him. I think you should tell her. She might get upset if she hears it at school.

    Answer by mompam at 2:24 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

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