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HELP GETTING MY FAMILY BACK.

This is from a Grandma,
Her son has been married 9 yrs this Dec. . We have been having problems since last Oct. But i think it started long before that. But his wife didn't say any thing till then.I Can't go into it all. But im always the one they blame for there problems.
And evething else in there life. So now im out of there lifes. But they keep me from seeing my grandchildren. What should i do?

Answer Question
 
maninblack

Asked by maninblack at 2:31 PM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You should chip away at the root of the problem. ARE you a reason for some of their stresses in life? Did you force your son to choose between you and his wife and children? Obviously you don't carry all the blame, but it takes two to fight... and you do have some fault in this. You could start by finding out what exactly it is and apologizing for it and taking steps to make it right.

    I hope this didn't come off as mean, I don't intend to be cruel. I hope this helped!
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:34 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Granny, mind your own business!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • well sit down and be honest with yourself. Why is there tension between you and your son and his family? You don't have to air that here. Are you to blame? Sometimes relationships get damaged beyond repair. However if you can be honest with yourself that may be a start to get back into their lives but it will be hard work.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 2:40 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I'm sorry about the poster that was so mean and said "granny, mind your own business!"

    These young girls today believe when they have a baby it "belongs" to them. I think girls started getting really really bad about this when getting married to have a baby became optional. I'm 53 and a grandmother. I remember when a baby was not the property of the mother. A baby was a child, granchild, niece or nephew, part of a family.

    A relationship with a grandmother is very important to a child. If you have had an ongoing relationship with this child talk to your son about how bad you want to see the children. Don't tell him what you are going to do but go see a lawyer. You may be able to have visitation rights. If you don't tell them what to do you may be able to get an order preventing them form leaving the state. That way they can't just move away.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 2:44 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I am the daughter in law in a similar situation. I went through years of disapproval of everything I have ever done. I swallowed my pride and hosted them in my home many times. It wasn't until my sister-in-law attacked me in a supposed defense of the mother-in-law. The sister-in-law had been fed a lot of lies and misassumptions but it didn't stop mil from thanking sil for hurting me. I don't hate her but if she wants to see the children again, it will have to be on neutral territory. I can't have them in my home with there attitude towards me. My husband completely supports me. Try to come up with neutral situations where both parties can feel comfortable and maybe things will heal.
    Glutenfreebaby

    Answer by Glutenfreebaby at 2:50 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Take a step back and try to find out where the problem started. Have you overstepped the boundaries as Grandma? Sometimes even well meaning people try to offer help or advice and younger people take offense or think that you are trying to run their life. Can you sit your son down and honestly talk to him about what may be the problem? And approach your daughter in law and tell her that you want to be a part of your grandkids life, and maybe you just all need to start over with a clean slate. Best of luck to you!
    emnasmom

    Answer by emnasmom at 3:15 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Been there, done that. I just get on with my life until they need me for something then they bring the grandkids back. I think that hurts the grandkids but young parents don't realize that. They just want to be immature and have their way. Their little temper tantrums (taking the grandkids away) makes me so angry some times I want to just spit. In most states, there isn't much you can do. Grandparents rights are only recognized in a few states and even with that the "rights" are limited.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:40 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • you should try talking to a lawyer. I don't know the laws where you are from but in some states there is a law that gives the grandparents visitaition and the parents are required by law to comply
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

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