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I'm a brand new mother and she just won't stop crying :s...

I'm sorry it's such a stupid question and I feel so horrible and such a crap mother. She's a week old now and I haven't had more than one hour's sleep in the last two nights. I've tried everything. Driving her arounda t night, rocking her, holding her, not holding her, everyhing... What am I doing wrong? I'm sorry it's reallysilly. I'm on my own with no-one to really ask for for help around here and I don't know what to do...

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Oct. 7, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (5)
  • :( I'm sorry, it's very rough. Don't feel terrible, it's not a stupid question, and you're not a crap mother! Just very sleep deprived.
    Is she starting to cry after feedings? Does she curl her legs up when she does so? She might just be colicky - I know, particularly the first month of a babies life, they're digestive systems aren't that great, so they do tend to get that achy stomach even more. Try burping her, or laying her down across your lap on her stomach and gently patting her back and slightly swaying your legs in a rocking motion - back and forth. It might help.
    Or, you can just do a kangaroo hold. Tuck her into your bare chest, while she only has a diaper on, skin to skin contact, and listening to your heartbeat might soothe her.
    What also worked for me. I laid my son in the middle of a blanket, gathered up the corners and gently rocked him from side to side. The darkness and swaying helped calm him down.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:08 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • You are NOT a crap mother! I remember sleep deprivation and SHRUDDER! Does she cry at a particular time every day? Are you nursing- is she fussy at the breast or bottle? During the middle of the night, try not to turn on bright lights or the tv or anything. Keep it calm, quiet, and dark. Use a small night light if you need to and when you're done turn it back off. Do you swaddle her? One big thing that helped with my dd was to swaddle her snuggly, go into a dark bathroom, and turn on the water. She loved the noise of the water running.

    Answer by ave.maria. at 6:15 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • I think we've all been there, sweetie! You're NOT a bad mother!

    There are lots of things it could be. Are you breastfeeding? If so, you might have a little bit of an oversupply. It's really common in the first few weeks. That's a pretty easy fix, if you think you have that let me know.

    If you're formula feeding it might be the formula. Formula is REALLY hard for little tummies to digest. Use the pre-made formula (the liquid kind) instead of the powder and make sure she's not constipated.

    If neither of those things seem to be the problem I have a trick up my sleeve that always ALWAYS helped my colicky baby. I got a sling. Not a crappy sling at Wal-Mart, though. Get an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder or a Maya Wrap. Those are the best. They take some practice, but they are a LIFESAVER. I was able to get my daughter to sleep in it and go to sleep in the recliner for a nap here and there.


    Answer by Ati_13 at 6:16 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Just Hang in there Mama! We have all been there. Swaddling really helped us. It does sound like it could be colic. If she is gassy, Gripe Water works amazingly well & you can get it most places. The sling is a great idea & if none of these helps - look into the Happy Hangup - my son wasn't colicky but I wanted one just in case. It was hands down the best piece of baby gear that we got. It is supposed to work wonders for colicky babies. Good Luck!

    Answer by poisson at 6:30 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

  • Comes with the territory. Welcome to motherhood. :0) No really my third child was the WORST! Would not sleep. Cried after every feeding so I just fed more thinking it was hunger still. All of my babies cried so I thought this one was just a little fussier. Turns out it was a milk intolerance! Once I took myself off of dairy we suddenly had a major drop in the amount of crying. Not that it became sunshine and roses overnight or anything. :0) I would talk to your child's doctor and make sure they have no suggestions for you. It could just be a fussy baby or it could be something that is totally easy to fix!

    Answer by fourisplenty at 7:27 PM on Oct. 7, 2009

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