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Allowed to Look?

Today I went shopping with my husband and our son, when he went to put our kid in the shopping cart a girl walked out. I knew instantly she was his type so I watched his reaction. He looked past her until she got past us, then he turned around and stared. When he noticed I was watching him, he said "What? I'm allowed to look. She's pretty. You have to admit she's pretty."
Why do I have to admit she's pretty?
And, why is he allowed to look?
I'm not saying he's not allowed. But I just feel like he was kind of rubbing my face in it, because he's allowed to look at all the pretty girls he wants and the fact that I am standing right there with him doesn't even matter. He can gawk at all the women he wants, but please have the courtesy to do it when I am not there. I just feel plain, chunky, and invisible.
I feel like can't even tell him how I feel because it will start a fight.
What would you do? Is your SO "Allowed to look"?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I think everyone is allowed to look. I mean really it's hard not to. If it bothers you that bad tell him that if he is going to be looking while he's with you than he needs to be more discreet about it.
    I know my SO looks, heck it's hard not to when most girls are showing off all the goods, I don't blame him for it either. I look at other men and he knows it! The important thing is that that's all we do. Neither of us want to be with someone else, it's just nice to look and admire someone once in a while.
    As long as he isn't putting the moves on girls then why not? It's the same as window shopping, look but don't buy, or in this case, look but don't touch!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I'm sure my husband looks, but he's pretty discreet, and he never makes it obvious that he's looking. Even though I weigh more than I did when I married him (21 years ago) he always makes me feel that no other woman compares with me.

    Maybe when you're not upset you can try talking to him about how that makes you feel. Let him know that it is okay to look, but that when he gawks, or stares, and has to comment on how attractive another woman is that it makes you feel inadequate. He's the one man who should always make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and he should no that it's worth it to him for you to feel that way.

    Find your best qualities and focus on them, build your own confidence if he won't help you, because you are beautiful.....and you should know it!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:02 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • and he should "know" not "no"!! I really need to edit!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:03 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Look, yes. Ogle, no.

    My hubby and I both point out attractive women and men (well the men is only really me, but we'll both discuss a pretty girl). We do this more on TV, but I've told him that one of his friend's is hot and he'll point out a girl at a party and say he thinks she's attractive.. I don't see anything wrong with looking, but staring and ogling.. not so much.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 1:05 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Of course he's allowed to look. I'm not about to tear his eyes out. He can look all he wants. I don't care at all because I'M the one he married. But I'm also quite comfortable in my own chunky frame and that makes a huge difference.

    Besides...if he did more than look he knows how good I am with a baseball bat.

    I have no worries. Besides, how are you realistically going to get someone to ignore 50 percent of the population.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:18 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • agree with toriandgrace..look fine ogle no. but honestly..ivenever really seen my husband look..seriously! but on tv yes he does in "real life" ive nevr seen him do it. i think he feels its wrong for him to do that..maybe when im not there he does but even if he did its okay with me as long asit doesnt go past looking. me he knows i look..lol im not very discreet..
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 2:56 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • My dh has never looked at another girl but a Car wow if a nice car passes by u have lost his attention, i do not look at other men, i know this cause one day his dad was tellin him " you know son it is ok to look just NEVER move ur head only ur eyes" and my dh just told him to shut up... i was outside, his step brother came and told me lol, cause he was tellin him as well. and when we went to go visit them at their shop he pulled my dh aside and told him to check some girls @** lol again his step brother told me cause he hates to see me or my dh upset for ANY reason
    waterlily89

    Answer by waterlily89 at 3:36 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I'm sure my dh looks (I notice nice looking men too), but never in front of me. He wouldn't be that disrespectful, and yes - I would be hurt if he turned away from me to look at another woman. But my dh thinks I'm hot and tells me all the time.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:04 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Men look its just what they do.My dh looks..heck I look lol.Dh gets mad sometimes when guys look at me,however I remind him that they are just looking,nothing more,nothing less.
    Nattiesmom9603

    Answer by Nattiesmom9603 at 6:16 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Look but don't touch.Eye candy.We're only human.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 8:24 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

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