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who's right?

My father was telling me I'm spoiling my son.. he's a month old today and according to him, I'm spoiling him because I'm always holding him [Not always... just when I'm awake and he's crying. which is a lot unless I hold him] but I told him babies do not get spoiled till they're about 4 months old. He laughed at me and was like whatever.

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Asked by kittenripmaygo at 3:35 AM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 10 (474 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Sorry, sweet girl, your dad is right. Babies get spoiled to being held.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:38 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • ummmm I hate to sound like ur dad but he is right I learned the hard way my son is a year old and I did what u are doing right now and now my son always cry wanting me to hold him he's not happy unless I hols him and my family always told me don't hold him so much but I did now Iam kicking myself in the *** now cuz I didn't listen just look at it this way parents know best I learned the hard way but just a word of advice let him cry for at least 10 min before you pick him up just to let him know u arn't going to jump up and hold him with every little cry he does but good luck to you hunny

    Answer by chrystal389 at 3:56 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • but make sure he is dry and fed and burped and everything is fine with him then do that

    Answer by chrystal389 at 3:58 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • You're not spoiling him, you're loving him. At 1 month, he doesn't need to cry without being comforted. I would try to get him used to the swing, bouncy seat, laying next to you on a blanket, something other than your arms. If he gets used to being held all day long, that's what he's going to want and as sweet as that is, there are times when you have to do the dishes, dust the furniture, wash clothes, etc. I did let my kids "fuss" themselves to sleep, but I didn't let them cry for 10 mins, especially not at 1 month.

    Answer by missanc at 4:20 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • babies get spoiled even that young...holding should not be an every cry thing. you have to find a happy medium.

    Answer by JocelynsMama1 at 8:09 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • You can't spoil a baby with love. Spoiling a child is giving in to their wants all the time. For an infant, their wants are their needs, so it's impossible to spoil them. Do what you feel you need to do to take care of your family, and don't worry about what other people say.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 8:58 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • have to disagree with krysta lol. i indeed found that you can spoil them by that age and they will want to be held all the time..... i learned my lesson and now with baby #3 i put her down alot more and she can be put down half asleep and put herself the rest of the way asleep (she is 3 weeks). but idk how to break them of it once they're spoiled..... i just endured it with my first two

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:22 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • people will tell u u cant spoil them that young but that is a lie my son is so spoiled to attention right now i hate it i walk out of his sight and he mil was telling me he couldnt get spoiled my bf says he can so i just held him all the time any ways and i regret it now ...........sorry ur dad is right

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 9:26 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I don't think that wanting/needing to be held is being spoiled. They're babies. Give them the love they need, because before you know it, they'll be grown, and won't want to be hugged, let alone held. Spoiling isn't holding a baby, or meeting its needs. Spoiling is giving in to every little thing, giving them what they want when they throw tantrums, ect. If YOU don't have a problem with your baby needing to be held frequently, then there is no problem.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • OMGoodness! I can't believe those first few answers. My mouth is literally on the floor. EVERYONE, doctors, researchers, moms, dads, etc., all agree that an infant CAN NOT BE SPOILED!!!! You are not spoiling your child. Evidence actually suggests that when a caregiver attends to an infant's cries immediately baby builds a huge bond of trust leading to less crying later. I, as well as all the mothers that I know, also found this to be true.  BTW if you want a quoted section from Dr. Spock (the one our parents swore by) let me know.  He also states you can NOT spoil an infant.  Good Luck and love on that baby as often as you wish.  You will only be building a stronger bond.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

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