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What Is The Worse Thing A Person Has Ever Done To You. To The Point That Its Hard To Forgive Them Let Alone Forgetting It???

I cant face anyone with this, So I choose to stay silent with my name.. I had someone whom i cared about and helped in time of need to ultimetley back stab me and it involved my child! Im trying to find closure cause its eating the hell out of me, with feelings of anger, and contempt! Im not quite sure I have even forgive this person... And I pray to be able to do that, As Jesus forgives me.... Are you in this same boat.. And how do you deal with it ?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Forgiveness is not:
    1. Approval
    2. Forgetting
    3. Justifying
    4. Giving In
    5. Reconciliation
    6. Re-hiring
    7. Trust
    8. Getting Even


    Forgiveness is:
    1. Acknowledging the hurt
    2. An act of choice
    3.Showing Mercy
    4. Keeping no record [in our heart] of the wrong
    5.Living free of bitterness
    6. Required by God.

    If you are still this angry and feeling contempt towards this person it's pretty obvious that you haven't forgiven them.

    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 5:16 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • well it could be 2 things.
    the first was an ex boyfriend who left me throwing up in a bathroom with alcohol poisoning to die, turns out i got taken care of all night by the girl he was seeing behind my back (she didn't know he was seeing me either- talk about douche bag)
    or
    i was living with this woman who was letting me stay in her house "out of the kindness of her heart" but one day i came home and the doors where locked, she never let me back in- talked to me or let me have my stuff back. total bitch (not to mention i was a months pregnant with my son)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I havent forgiven my ex for what he did to me because i can't get over the fact that i might not have lived to have a baby and be happy for once. but i forgave the lady cause she was probably just crazy.
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 4:45 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Now, let me add; It took me over 4 years for forgive my ex husband. I got over what he did to me long before I got over what he did to our sons. That list I posted was part of a sermon I heard almost 2 years ago; I've held onto that list because all of my life I was taught that forgiveness went hand in hand with forgetting and going back. Even though I kept saying "if you stick your hand in a bee hive and you get stung, common sense dictates that you don't stick your hand back in that bee hive again" , what I had been taught was contrary to what my own good sense was telling me. I struggled with forgiveness for many years until I learned that it does not mean going back. I finally was able to say NO, I won't do that again; and I was able to stop participating in those toxic relationships that kept me tore up all the time.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 5:22 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I find that praying about it helps a lot. Often by the next day I have an answer or a way.

    Another thing that helps is "doing good to those that hurt you." It is amazing, but it really does help.

    Bitterness hurts only one person, yourself, so it is good to try to let go.

    Having said all of this, I am in the middle of a time of bitterness. I should let it go, maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:52 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I was basically mentally and emotionally abused, then abandoned by my bio dad, beaten by my step dad, and sexually assaulted by my grandfather, who then killed himself when I turned him in.

    All of those things were very painful for me, and it did take me a long time to work through them, but honestly, I came to realize that by not forgiving them and letting go of this, then I was only hurting myself - THEY had done these things to me, but I was the one choosing to allow them to continue to victimize me by "giving them space in my head" so to speak.

    Plus, I agree with Pacemyself about forgiveness.

    There is a quote that I like that I think you might benefit from - it's "You can ask me to forgive, but to ask me to forget is to ask me to give up a lifetime of experience."

    You can forgive, but still know now that this person is untrustworthy.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:22 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Forgiveness is for you not for them. You can't heal without forgiving. You don't have to forget if you don't want to but if you don't you are letting her control your life. It's your life. You can do what you want but I wouldn't let someone else control my life
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:02 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Pacemyself**** has is right!! after what she said I have no other advice except Things happen to us for a reason. We need to turn to God for those answers.

    What other people have done to me isn't worth typing but some bad things have occurred in my 40 years in this lifetime. I gave up on making my own life choices and decided to let go and let God.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Also I want to add that if I hadn't been molested, my dad died driving drunk and I had never been "played" used and abused

    Well I would not be the person I am now and that is a person who is....
    Mad as hell about drinking and driving and repulsed that bars shut the doors on drunks at closing time sending out thousands of drunks to drive home.
    I am leary of all men...Every man is capable of being a child molester....never be too trusting!
    also men generally paint pretty pictures of themselves to trap us woman into believing they are really great.
    Some men are really nice guys but very hard to find!
    If all this would not have happend......my kids probably would have been molested because I would never have given it a second thought that men like little kids.
    I would have never given it a second thought to drink and drive....because my dad would still be alive and I never would have to suffer a lifetime of anguish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Time is your enemy at the moment. It's a journey you alone will resolve; search for that answer. Good luck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

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