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Child's funeral

For those that have lost a child what words did others give you during the funeral service? I will attend a former co-worker's 6 year old child's funeral today, the child went to school with my children... I am at a loss for words to comfort mom...

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BlessingsBegin

Asked by BlessingsBegin at 9:05 AM on Oct. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i have delt with simular problem just be there for her and it is hard when someone looses a child. my prayers will be with u all.
    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 9:08 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Then don't say anything. Hug her and bring her a casserole, offer to help her in some way and eventually take her out for lunch or coffee. You seem to realize that you have no idea what she is feeling and that is a good thing so be as comforting as you can be.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 9:19 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • i dont know but it is reminding me of something I heard. When people loose a child it makes everyone uncomfortable and not know what to say. The result is the mother not only looses a child but her friends in the process. When people pass them in the store they avoid them cause they dont know what to say, they dont call because they fear saying the wrong thing. Dont shy away from her because it is uncomfortable and you fear saying the wrong thing. It is hard to reach out when you are going thru something so just call her and invite her out and just sit with her. Hug her if she cries and dont try to make it ok..just be there so she isnt alone while she feels all she needs to feel. I understand in your case it is an excoworker so you may not be that close, but still invite her out for coffee, deliver dinner and great her when you see her.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:28 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I cannot even imagine! My heart bleeds for her. I would just tell her you know nothing will make this better...EVER, but you are there for her in what ever copacity she needs. Perhaps just being by her side and quiet will be more comfort than you realize.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:49 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • the funerals I have been to (not child, though) I have not said anything. Just give hugs and ask if they need anything. Nothing you say can help, they must greive on their own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • When my niece died at 11 1/2 months old there was quite a bit of silence at the funeral. No one knows what to say to anyone, especially the parents at that time. The best thing you can do is like everyone else said, just give her a hug and let her know you are there if she needs you.
    lissa27504

    Answer by lissa27504 at 10:36 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I was told by my professor in elder care (a far different field I know, but it still applies) that the best thing to say to a family who has lost a loved one is "is there anything you need?" That can range from helping clean house to being a shoulder to cry on. The other key is letting them know you are there for them. *hugs* to you and prayers for the family
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 10:55 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Just give condolences. That says it all sometimes
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:51 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

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