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How can I get my 10 year old daughter to not be so lazy and clean her room and do her homework

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Asked by Brianna824 at 12:21 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (13)
  • Don't give her a choice. But DO give her consequences. What methods have already tried?

    Answer by LyTe684 at 12:25 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Now doing the home work is a must. You need to stay on her about that. Now the bedroom. If you insist on her bedroom being clean. Everything she likes to do take it away tell she  start keeping her room clean.


    Answer by louise2 at 12:30 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • if this has always been an issue, then the problem will not work overnight...first you must re-evaluate the situation IF this has been an ongoing issue...doing homework is a must...if she doesn't do her homework, are there consequences for her at school?

    I had a similiar son would do the homework, but he wouldn't turn it in...I fault the teacher & my son on this one because if she would've let me know in the beginning it would'nt have continued for half a semester and he knew right from wrong...therefore as the parent, I had to step in, get him on track by not tolerating the behavior and to let him suffer a consequence...for example, when he didn't turn in his homework, on the weekends, he had to go up to the school and help out a teacher or to the church and help clean it...or something that I knew he dreaded doing...but if he turned in his homework, then he was allowed to enjoy his weekend...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:45 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • You need a list of expectations and consequences for your child.

    Homework and room cleaning (chores) are not optional. She needs to understand this. School is her job. If you don't do your "job" you don't get paid and you get fired. There are consequences at all stages of life. She needs to understand this.

    As a member of the household she is responsible for certain chores. Cleaning HER room is one of them. If she can't keep her room clean, perhaps she needs to own less stuff.

    Sit down and have a long talk with her. Make your expectations and consequences clear. Let her give input, but you make the final decisions. Everytime a "job" is not completed she should lose a privelege or possession.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Let her deal with the consequences of not doing homework at school. I only push for a certain amount of time and then if my son doesn't do his homework, he deals with his teachers, bad grades and being grounded for the next quarter of school. As for his room, he has to deal with it. I shut the door and ignore it. If his clothes need to be washed and are in his room, then he has to have them out of his room when I do laundry or he does his own. You can try taking everything but her bed and books out of her room and she earns each item back by doing her homework and chores.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:04 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I usually offer incentives like a trip to the ice cream store at the end of a full week of her keeping her room clean. I tell her what a help she is when she keeps her room clean. Maybe a little incentive will help. I hope it does.

    Answer by lizfarias at 3:07 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Consequence don't work in my house, my DD is so lazy, if it was her way she'd never leave her bed she'd lay there all day and watch tv. I force her to go to school, do her homework and extra credit, Awanas, and 4H and other extracirrcular activities, and her chores I was ridding her ass for the past three years and now she does it without being asked!!! You just have to train them!!!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 10:30 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • No TV, mall trips, visits to friends, etc till that stuff is done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I found that alot of times my demands on my child were to broad and overwhelming. At ten years old, I found that asking my daughter to clean her room was overwhelming or frustrating. She did not know where to begin or how to formulate a routine. I found that by working with her to develop what was expected when "cleaning her room", it helped her to accomplish the task much easily.

    After this was accomplished, I then imposed the rules of chores and homework must be done when we get home from school, before we do anything else. You will find that once they realize you are serious, and are much better off doing them and getting on with things, than having life stop until they are completed. However, the old adage of "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you", applies here. When life stops for your child, it must also stop for you until the task is accomplished.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Her room is her sanctuary away from the world. Let her live in it as she wants. It is your house but her room. She needs to have control over something in her life. This situation with the homework gives you the leverage you need to teach her negotiation and compromise. Tell her you will cut her slack on the room if she does her homework.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

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