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I need help my 2 yr old son will not go to sleep in his room by himself!!!!

He at first had a tv where he would watch disney cars', bigbird, elmo, and blueclues. It settled him down for the night. He has been off of the bottle for 6 months now, and we no longer have the tv on at night. If any of you have boys you will know that they are very distructive. It does no good putting a radio or night light in his room if all he does is tear it up or rip it out of the wall. He isn't a horrible kid by all means.... His daddy and I have tried just laying him down reading him a story tucking him in, telling him good night and we love him, then shutting the door. We try to let him cry it out for about 10 min, but he kicks the door screams blood murder and doesn't stop. We have spanked him for his tantrums but he just laughs. I don't know what to do, all I know is I want to be able to sleep with my honey and I can't because we both take turns laying down with our son till he falls asleep. PLEASE HELP!!!

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dawnmichelle10

Asked by dawnmichelle10 at 1:48 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (4)
  • Sleep issues are hard on the family. Know first, you are not alone. Most important thing with sleep training is finding something and sticking with it. Kids respond to different methods, just as their parents do. Try a gradual change in his routine. He needs to learn how to self-soothe. Tell him at bed time what you expect. "Lights out at x:00. I will stay with you for a little and then I'm leaving. You need to be a big boy and sleep here yourself." The first few nights, stay until he's asleep but not "out cold." If he wakes when you leave, reassure him softly and keep going. Give him time to fall back to sleep. If he doesn't, try again. BE CONSISTENT though. Don't stay longer to get him asleep. It MIGHT take a while the first night or two but he'll get it. When he's falling asleep but not out cold without issue start leaving sooner. When he's got those heavy eyelids but not asleep, leave. Do that a few days (cont next box)
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:58 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • When you can leave the room without issue at the drowsy stage it's time to alter the routine. This time, don't be IN the room. Stand or sit in the doorway. You can reassure him or hum softly or whatever it takes. Remind him he can't get out of bed. If he gets out, put him back and return to your spot at the doorway. When this works for a night or two, back out farther. Stand in the hallway with the door mostly closed. Again you can verbally reassure when you need to. He'll get it.

    If you want to let him cry it out, that's fine too. IF he's banging the door and yelling, you go in and put him back in bed. Then leave. Don't stay. Don't reprimand. Don't talk beyond "You're ok. Good night." He'll get the hint. RIght now the tantrum is getting him attention. You're spanking means he got his way - you came in and you're with him. Don't go there.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 3:01 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Have you tried staying until he falls asleep? I can hear the outcry now - I don't want to start that habit! But. His habit right now sucks, and I'd be looking for a better one, including staying with him for five or ten minutes until he's out. That way, you can physically put him in bed every time he gets out (not talking, of course), until he's just bored. I guess its' called the "stay in bed technique" or something. I saw it termed that on super nanny, but I thought it was just common sense.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 6:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • If you're going to try the cry-it-out method you have to commit to it. 10 minutes isn't really long enough at first. It's common for some to cry for a couple of hours the first night.

    But each night the length of time they cry is lessened (most parents will say by half) and eventually just turns into a minute or two.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

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