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hard question...

how do you tell a 3 and 4 yr old that you and daddy are separating?

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idebusashes

Asked by idebusashes at 3:12 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You don't. They can't comprehend what you are saying anyway. They will adjust. Try to not show too much emotion over it in front of them. They react to your energy.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:13 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • i suppose i am also concerned with how to address their concerns once we are moved out as to why daddy isnt there. i know they will be asking and i havent got the slightest clue how to answer it in a way they will understand. theyve already seen too much. im leaving b/c my ex is an abusive person that enjoys exposing the children to it. they are infatuated with their father despite his flaws .
    idebusashes

    Answer by idebusashes at 3:19 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • You need to tell the child, a 3 and 4 year old CAN understand what is going on. A child this age is much smarter than some give credit (ex:admckenzie). You just explain that mommy and daddy are going to be living in different houses and still love you very much. There are grownup issues that mommy and daddy have to deal with, but you are the most important thing in the world. It wouldn't hurt to have some family counseling sessions to help everyone deal with the changes; mom, dad and kids. Keep the lines of communication open with your husband, do what is best for the kids and don't lie to them,don't keep things from them. It is also ok to show emotions in front of the kids, how else are they going to learn to show emotion and that it is ok to do so?
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:50 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • They are gonna know something is up. Let them ask you. Dont go to them. Keep our answers short and sweet and positive. I would suggest you say stuff like "We are doing _____." instead of "We are NOT doing _____." Best wishes.

    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 8:10 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • My parents separated when I was 4/5 years old. My father sat me down and explained that he was going away for awhile blah blah blah blah. I don't remember the rest, just simply that phrase. It was simple and explained why he wasn't there. After I turned 5, we moved to FL and that set it in stone that he wasn't going to be there. I'd say keep it simple so they can understand but say you are always open to their questions.

    The other thing my mom did that I will hold her up on pedestal forever for, she never said a bad word about him in front of us. Granted, he was a POS but we got to form our own opinion of that over the years and she didn't form it for us.
    blogginmomma

    Answer by blogginmomma at 8:18 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • barnes and nobles has books in the kids section about this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

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