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Why do I treat him so bad? Someone give me advice.. I dont wanna loose the best guy I have ever been with!

My last relationship was like something you would see on T.V. My x got another girl pregnant, and I stayed! Then He got me pregnant.I had a misscariage when I was with him, and Then he left me for the other girl! After he broke up with me about two weeks later I found out I was pregnant again,and he wanted nothing to do with it! (this is just a quick sum up of what happened there acctually was many emotions that came along with it, and a lot of pain for me!) I was made a fool, and then again I had another misscarriage and had to get a D&C. That was very painful! Now I am with a man who I never caught lying, and treats me like a princess! He puts me before himself, and treats me so good. Now that Im in a good relationship I can see how bad my x really was to me. The only problem is I treat the new guy like trash, and I dont understand why! I feel so guilty after, and I try to apoligize I cry at night because of the things i do!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • maybe you feel likeyou dont deserve him or you want to sabotage relationship b4 he leaves (like a get him b4 he gets you mentalilty) Or you may not know how to behave in a normal NO drama relationship...IDK just some ideas. think b4 you act and you wont have to apologize so much.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:07 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Because you're afraid to lose him. It's crazy but people do it. You could be afraid that if you allow yourself to be vunerable with him, he could hurt you. It's easier on the heart to hurt him than allow him to hurt you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Are you trying to ruin the relationship before he does? Sometimes we dont feel we deserve something so we try and ruin it or we think, well he is gonna break my heart or mess up somehow so I might as well do it for him.. kind of a way to protect our hearts. Do you think you are unknowingly doing this? If so STOP. Accept this relationship for what it is and continue on, you can be guarded to a point but until he gives you a reason, you really need to relax. This man is not your ex, so dont put what he(ex) did to you on the new one. Sounds like you have alot of unresolved issues and hurt from your last relationship, you really need to deal with those before you can move forward or you will continue to make the same mistakes. Forgive your ex, write a letter about all the love, hate, anger, disappointment etc to get those feelings out then burn the letter and as it turns to ashes let each emotion from the past go with it.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:14 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I think you are expecting him to treat you like crap and he isnt, but you are expecting it, so you are dishing it back at him. I would go talk to a counselor or therapist about it, before you ruin the good relationship your in.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 5:17 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • ria7 has a good point. It's almost like we figure they will leave anyway (or screw up somehow) so we try to push them away before they screw up and hurt us. Just relax and try to enjoy what you have. If you keep doing it then tell him you are working on not doing that again...unless he likes it then you are fine! Just talk with him about it and tell him you realize what you are doing and trying to stop.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • You can control how you treat him. You don't treat everyone the way you treat him so you can control it. You have to make a choice you can lose him by holding him responsible for the things someone else did to you or you can keep him by treating him the way he deserves to be treated and letting your past go. You are no different than your ex at this point and you need to recognize that and move on. Living in the past will destroy any future you have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • i think your testing them to see if they truly loved you how much they would put up with. probably cause you were abandoned or you have severe self esteem issues. i have done this and later with therapy i understood why. it's like you feel they are not deserving of you and you want them to prove it. it's not true that if they truly loved you they would put up with you. us women do so cause we are to stupid to realize we deserve better. well some women are to stupid and they think that true love means you stand by it all no matter. not how it works. good luck. get therapy.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I agree with all of the above. Maybe the best thing to do is have an honest conversation with the new guy about how you feel and how you don't understand why you are treating him that way but are going to get counselling to figure it out.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 8:18 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

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