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How do i explain to my 3 year old that his grandfather died?

We all live in the same house so my son has grown quite attached to his grandfather. Already once in my son's life did a man walk out of his life (my ex-fiancee) How do I explain that his pop-pop didn't leave him willingly

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LancerMom

Asked by LancerMom at 7:39 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • take him to the funeral
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I just went and googled death of a grandparent book. There are many childrens books about this. Check the library or book store. here is a link w/ a few titles. It's going to be hard but you have to tell him
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 7:45 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • opps here is that link http://www.wordpool.co.uk/ccb/feelings/grandparent.htm
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 7:45 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Be truthful and honest. Answer his questions as simply and best as you can. When you go to the funeral home they normally have booklets that help the parent answer a child's questions about death. I am sorry for your loss!

    mama_l

    Answer by mama_l at 8:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • My daughter was 3 when my mil died. We were very close to my inlaws too. They stayed with us weeks at a time and after mom died dad would stay with us for a month and weeks at a time.

    When my mother in law died I told my three year old and other kids too and still do that part of life is death. Death is when our bodies don't move on earth, we move in heaven. I explained we got to heaven by God deciding it was time to go to heaven. I also said no one knows when that time is. God reaches his arms from high above the clouds and comes through and hugs that person and takes them to heaven.

    I enforced over and over that no one knows when any of us will go to heaven. Only God knows so our job is to laugh and learn and live. Never did I say anything about sleep and death.

    If any of your dd friends family members have died, you can refer to that to enforce life continuing after a loved one has died.

    I'm sorry.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 8:37 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Let him see you grieve and be open and honest with him. Use concrete words. Not the best idea to say he is sleeping in Heaven or "passed away." They won't usually "get it" and its normal. He may ask questions over and over again in an attempt to understand. Be patient. Draw pictures of happy times with Grandpa. Draw a picture of how you are feeling to show him. Let him draw a picture of how he is feeling. Talk about how you feel and what you believe as far as when someone has died. What brings you comfort? Seeing you, he will use you as his role model for the rest of his life in terms of how somoeone should behave/feel about death. There are a lot of good resources. Contact your local Hospice. It is required that all Hospice organizations have a bereavement department. They should have litterature they can send you or you can pick up that explains this very thing. You can also talk to their counselors
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:59 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • for more one on one if you need to. I'm sorry for your loss and my heart is with any person who has a loved one who is ill or has died. It is very difficult. Routine is important and carry out his routine to show him his world will keep going. And you will keep going too. It takes times. Don't be hard on yourself. There is no one right way or perfect way. Remember you are a good mom and you know your child best. Use your intutition and have support for you as well.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:02 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • TOO LONG, Part 1:We, my daughter and I, just lost my Mom/Grandma. I knew my Mom was dying so before she did, I explained to her about life and death and we always talk about God and Jesus and I just told her that one day we are all going to live in Heaven when Jesus comes for us and that God needed Grandma early but that we will see her again one day. We did the awake a home, followed by a small service, when it was time to take her, she cried, grabbed the gasket and screamed, DON'T TAKE MY GRANDMA and I picked her up and she said she needed to tell her Goodbye, so I moved the flowers and reopened the casket, and I put her in there and she hugged and kissed her Grandma like she did any other time and then she was totally fine. Several months later she asked me "why her's doesn't wear oxygen anymore?", I asked her... do you see Grandma??!, and she said, Yes, I said when, and she said every day! Just recently she told me she
    creardon

    Answer by creardon at 2:03 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Part 2: that she doesn't see her every day anymore. Sometimes she cries for her.... whereas before she was okay with her being gone and they were very close, we all were! My mom lived with us (just the 3 of us and we did everything together) and took care of her for her first year before she got very sick. Now she will ask me, why did God need Grandma? Things like that, and she will wake up and say "good mornign Jesus, good morning Grandma, I hope you all have a nice day today!". I miss my mom beyond comprehension and so does my daughter. We always go to church so that also helped.
    Your poor little man, it is hard!!! I am 41 and might as well be 3, I miss her so much! But thank God that He gave me my daughter!
    creardon

    Answer by creardon at 2:08 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • take him to the funeral. Do not tell him grandpa is sleeping. Be as honest with him as possible. I took my 2 yo to my mom's funeral.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:05 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

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