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why is it that people look at me like im crazy?

Ok so I’m a member of a women’s group in my church (im an officer). When our church first started the woman’s group I went to the meeting and I got really upset at the face that they wanted to go on woman’s retreats and take there teen age daughters but they did not want any small children( at that time my dd was 1) to go. Now there are a group of ladies from our woman’s group that are going on a trip to a craft fair (just for the day) and I wanted to go. But I was told today that I could go but they wanted it to be a child free trip. That i would need to find someone to keep my now 2 year old dd.(she is a really well behaved child and I discipline her. I have never had someone complain about her before)Im just really upset at the fact that it is like they all want to go off with there teen age dd’s but that they do not want me to bring my dd. Im a sahm and I love to be with my child.

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kristyleigh614

Asked by kristyleigh614 at 8:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I love her so much and I fill that she should be with me as much as she can because god gave her to me to raise. I should do it as much as I can. Do you fill that im over reacting? Is this something that you have come across? How do you fill about it?
    kristyleigh614

    Answer by kristyleigh614 at 8:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I have to agree with the women's group on this one. Maybe they feel like if they allow one person to bring their toddler, everyone would want to do it. I don't care how well behaved your child is a 2 year old will be a disruption even if it is just naps, etc. It isn't unfair for these women to NOT want to have to plan the trip and schedule around naptime, feedings, bathtime, etc. Find a babysitter and enjoy some adult time, or maybe you can start your own group of sahm who want to go on trips and bring their kids. Another solution might would be to take someone along to watch your DD for you so that she can maintain her schedule and the group can maintain theirs.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 8:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I would be upset too
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 8:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I understand where you are coming from. BUT, this is a retreat, meaning the ladies dont want toddlers around or holding them back from what the group might want to do. Teenage DD's I can see going because of their age, they dont need to go potty, they dont need to nap or be in bed before 8 etc.. I think this is a great chance for you to get away and have some fun without your DD, it is just for a few days and you should enjoy the adult time. Sometimes moms NEED to focus on ourselves just as much as we do our children.. Go for the day and have a good time!!!!!
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:30 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • I would have to say that sometimes people do not want the hassle little kids bring. I love children, but there are times I do not want to have to be around kids.
    I know especially on a road trip it is hard to take little ones. They have to pee or they cry because their ears hurt, or they are hungry. The problem comes in because they are not old enough to reason with. The teens your friends are bringing along are old enough that if they have to wait to eat or go to the bathroom, they can do it without a fuss.
    I would either find a sitter so you can enjoy some time with adults, or stay home and be angry that you friends all went without you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Just so you know, I do understand where you are coming from. I'm taking DS on my honeymoon cruise because I can't stand to go even a day without seeing him, lol, BUT I am taking someone along to help with him too.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 8:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • seriously?? you joined a group you didnt start it. Teenagers are becoming women and need that guidance and examples (if you will). An infant would probably distract and disturb everyone else get away. Its not fair for you to come along and want to make everyone else uncomfortable b/c you want you dd by your side. My advise - dont go! Let the other ladies enjoy their time. They have that right. You are being selfish and acting like the group revolves around you. IT DOESNT. I say be a mature adult and compromise. Your dd wont hate you for it, and Im sure that you can live with yourself if you do.

    sugahmamma

    Answer by sugahmamma at 8:42 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • ok this trip is just a day thing to a craft fair.
    kristyleigh614

    Answer by kristyleigh614 at 9:00 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Two year old kids are far more unpredictable in behavior and attitude than a teen ager is. The trip is about moms bonding with older teen daughters, it's not about bonding with a daughter whatever age.

    You deserve a day away from your little one. Doing so or thinking about it does not mean you love your Gift From God less than if you never spent a second away from her. But in reality your little one really is too young to enjoy the crafts themselves with you as mom like the trip is meant to be.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:38 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • A day trip sounds like a perfect time for you to get some time away from your DD. I had a hard time going anywhere without DS when he was little too, but half way through the first time I had to do it I realized how much more I got to enjoy what I was doing. I think you should find a sitter who will do something special with DD or leave her home for daddy day if that is an option and go and enjoy yourself. Also how much fun would DD REALLY have at a craft fair?
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:46 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

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