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So's mom doesn't seem like she wants a relationship with our daughter, her only it time to throw in the towel?

My SO's mom and I don't speak to each other. Long story, but she is toxic and I refuse to be involved with her. She has never been denied the ability to have a relationship with my dd, however (only grandchild).

It's been 15 months, and in the last 13 months, she has seen my dd 3 times. My SO asks her all the time, "I'm babysitting tomorrow, do you want me to bring Sara over for a visit?" Her response is always, "Oh, I have an appt", or, "I don't know what my plans are", etc. And I'm the one that tells SO that he can take the baby over to see his mom! (he lives with her, and he babysits our dd while I'm in doctor's appts).

It's sad that she won't have anything to do with our dd, yet complains to everyone who'll listen that I'm keeping the baby from her!

I'm done trying to "bridge the gap" between my dd and her grandmother, because it seems like she just isn't interested in getting to know our dd (CON'D)


Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Oct. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I'm sorry this is happening to you. If I were in that situation, I would just finally tell her to come see her grandbaby and stop being so childish. If she couldn't put our differences aside for the sake of the child, then I would stop wasting my time. And to those she lies to about letting her see the baby, when I see them, I'd say: 'By the way, if you see (name), let her know my offers to visit DD still stand.' That way, they'd know for sure that I have not been denying visits. In the end, DD is what matters, and kids can sense tension. So, it might be best to cut ties; at the very least, just make sure your DD doesn't get her hopes up about seeing grandma. Then she can't be disappointed.


    Answer by NightPhoenix at 12:03 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • OP


    Do you think it's time to throw in the towel?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • Call me crazy but maybe she thinks he's wanting to bring the baby behind your back since he's "babysitting" (if he's the Daddy then umm... that's not babysitting).
    Maybe it would help if YOU called her up and said "we've got no plans tomorrow/tonight/next Xday, and thought it'd be nice if we could get together for dinner".
    The reason I say this is because I had a friend that isn't friends with me now but I'm friends with her inlaws and she said she didn't want me around her baby, and they have invited me to see the baby when she's not around but I refuse because it would only cause them problems. I'm not going behind the Mommy's back.. that'd be wrong and I wouldn't want it done to me. This Mom has said later that they could have her around me but still.... nope, she yanked her from me once and she won't get the chance to use her baby to hurt me again. Not saying it's the same thing with you but... call her yourself :)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:21 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I agree with the PP. Also it could be a situation like with my FIL. He says he wants to see our son, but then never has time to. Finally my MIL clued me in, he doesn't like babys, but if afraid if he doesn't make a big deal about seeing DS, later, when he is more interesting, he wont be allowed to.

    Answer by auroura at 12:45 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • If MIL does not respect you, then she doesn't deserve full access to your DD anyway. You are a package deal, and it doesn't seem fair to have to push a relationship with someone like that. It sounds like she only complains about the situation for attention or because she has a guilty conscience and needs to justify herself. She isn't worth your time, and others will see the truth eventually.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Oct. 9, 2009