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What else can be done? (dd does not want to go to school)....anymore!!!

My 6 yr. old girl does not want to go to school, she did this in kindergarten for a week and right when we were just doing great we had that stupid Hurrican Ike and she missed 8 days of school (for everyone) then we had to go through all the drama again....Anyway now one month in a half of school she gets to not feeling too good (you know the fever, tummy ache, pooping) once that was past. It was time to hit the books...only she does not want to go to school.
I asked the teacher if everything was ok she said yes and that she is a very good student (no complaints there) So what could it be?
It is getting so old with this drama she puts me through, her dad already spoke her and handled but it doesn't make a difference.

Has anyone ever gone through this with their kid?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 AM on Oct. 9, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • You just make her go. Don't do the drama with her. Tell her to get ready and take her. My son did this two days then he stopped. I did not give in or address the drama. Told him he was going to school and that was that. He is fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • is there a bully?

    the teacher doesn't always know if there's a bully. happened with my oldest. as soon as we nixed the bully issue....all was good again.


    Answer by hypermamaz at 10:56 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • i would definitely ask about a kid picking on her. kids are sneaky and will most likely pick on another when the teachers arent looking.

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 3:35 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I haven't gone through this with my kids because I have always homeschooled them, but I went through something like that when I was in school. It started in kindergarten and just continued to get worse. I was a good kid, a good student, got good grades, and didn't have any major problems with anyone. The daily pressures of school were just extremely stressful for me. I had physical symptoms when it got bad - headaches, nausea, stomach aches, joint pain, insomnia, etc. When I was in high school the pressure got to be too much for me. I had a nervous breakdown and became suicidal my junior year. I'm not saying that will happen to your daughter, mind you. I'm just saying that it may not just be "drama", so don't treat it too lightly or ignore it. If you can't find an explanation such as bullying, then I would suggest finding a good child psychologist or counselor for your daughter to talk to.

    Answer by jessradtke at 7:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Tell her that school is her job and if she doesn't go, then she loses priveleges and her toys or allowance. Call the principal and teacher and request a meeting along with the school counselor. There may be something going on that the teacher doesn't know about because it happens out of her classroom.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Separation anxiety can be quite the drama scene. Good students, good kids, goo parents....and it can still happen. "Something" doesn't have to have happened for it to develop. So breathe. Then come up with a plan. 1) routine. Same routine from time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. 2) kindness. If you were honestly scared and anxious you would want compassion not apathy. 3) Have someone who is the more firm person be the one to take her to school or put her on the bus. If it helps enlist a friend who is a little more detached from the scene. But it has to be the same exact person. 4) if at school she has a break down - dear God don't let her come home. No matter how bad the drama scene. I once had a kid who had a bone chilling scream and we kept him at school.


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:24 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Come up with a plan with the school and then walk and reherse the plan with your child. Don't just spring a new routine on her. Explain clearly what your expectation is and that we will work on it as a team each day. And breathe. She is most likely having anxiety issues. The trigger is being separated from you or her dad. Her family. Not uncommon as what you might think. Also check in with her doctor. In some rare cases I did have some kids on an anti-anxiety temporarily, with the routine, with therapy, and with family counseling to help assist in the goal of no more separation anxiety. If not treated with compassion and correctly - oh it can get worse. Trust me on that fact.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:27 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I would try to get her to tell you why she doesn't want to go to school. Call the school and ask the teachers if they know of any problems that you daughter might be having in school. because she keeps saying that she does't want to go to school. Besides that just tell her that she has to go to school .

    Answer by incarnita at 9:30 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • My dd is going through exactly the same thing!!! She cries EVERY day. She likes school, does really well, and enjoys it when she is there, but the separation is tough on her. I talked with her teacher and with the school counselor. We are trying a reward system. If she goes to school without crying for 3 days, she gets to be picked up on Friday. Or she gets 5 minutes of just mom time for each day she doesn't cry. I have a 1 y/o who takes up a lot of time and she just LOVES him to pieces, but sometimes I think she misses having me to herself. Also, the teacher lets her check papers and be a "helper" in the morning to help take her mind off separating. Let me know how you handle things and if you need any other ideas, please feel free to message me. Sounds like we're going through the same stuff!

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 1:58 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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