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Is it love or lonliness?

What's your opinion on this? I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months. We have a very casual relationship, he lives kind of far away so I only get to see him about once a week, and we talk on the phone probably 3 to 4 times a week, just depending. Anyway, I know he doesn't want a relationship right now, but I'm starting to really want one. Everytime I think to myself that I'm going to let him go and move on I get to missing him and end up calling him and things start all over again. I'm having a hard time sorting through my feelings for him. I wonder do I really miss him or am I just lonely? I do miss his voice and think about him all the time, but if I had someone else would I miss him as much? It's all so confusing, I just need some advice. Thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I really don't think that you miss him. I use to be in the kind of relationship and it didn't end nicely. Move on now you already know what he wants and if he really wanted to be with you he would make something work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • My man lived out of state 2 hours away. I felt like that too.You are definiely smitten by the love bug. Pursue it. I did we're married 14 and a half years.Don't let him get away.

    Answer by bella69147 at 11:48 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • It depends how long you've been with him. If it in the years move on, but a few months give him a chance.

    Answer by bella69147 at 11:49 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • It's been 7 months....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • It could be a combo of both. You might actually have feelings for him, which is why even though you want to find someone closer you just can't manage to let him go. But you also are lonely. He's far away, you don't get to see him and talk to him that often, so of course you're lonely. I think it might be time to be honest with him and tell him what you want. You'll only be unhappy if you continue with a relationship that isn't really want you want, and if you tell him what you want, he might surprise you and want the same thing. And if he doesn't, then you need to take a good, long look at all of your feelings, the missing him, the lonliness, and decide if you want to continue with those feelings or if you want to find someone else, someone that wants the same things you do.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:49 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Why not test the theory? Start dating other men and see if it's just being lonely. If not then consider the alternative.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • well it could be a combo of both but i really feel is you are just lonely and if you was to find another gentlemen to distract you then u wouldn't really "need "him as much. as my grandmother has been famous for saying "u just need a new character in your life book and see how the story change"...good luck

    Answer by texasdelta at 1:39 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Tell him you need someone close to have a physical relationship with. You and I are just phone friends. Let him go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • You know what? It really doesn't matter. If he is not interested in a developing relationship, and he has told you that, and you do want one, you need to cut him loose and wait for someone who is thinking about committments and family and the things that you want. Don't allow yourself to believe that you can change his mind, because it won't happen. As soon as you realize that a guy doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you want, it is time to let him go and wait for someone who does.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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