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Country girl, city guy

This is the biggest struggle my husband and I have!
I am a country girl. Grew up with horses, corn fields, lots of space, running around in the back yard and woods!
My husband was raised the same way, he hated it and now wants to be in the city!
We compromised and lived in an apartment in a more urban town, I hated it with a passion! I felt bad for my kids. They really couldn't play outside like I did. There was a little patch of yard, 3 trees.
So we recently moved to our new place. 3 acres for our kids to run and be free! I love it, I feel comfortable.
He hates it! He wants to move in a town house or apartment again :(
I feel claustrophobic living like that. I get depressed and caged in!
What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • What do the kids want?

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Oh man. That sucks, I'm sorry. Well, I guess just sit down and HONESTLY tell each other what you NEED for a home.

    Best thing to do, would be write it down. Everything down to the square footage, acerage, color, etc. And then rate them from most to least important.

    And then, compromise, compromise, compromise. A compromise doesn't make you feel horrible. That's not a compromise, that's letting the other person get what he or she wants. You need to meet in the middle and include the kids if they're old enough.

    See if you can't find a larger house with ample acerage in the city (well, not city, but urbany area). You don't have to live in downtown to be in a city.

    Be honest to each other: what matters and why? Why does he want the smaller apartment? Why do you want the bigger lot? Hopefully that'll open your eyes to his feelings and vise versa.

    Good luck!

    Answer by jlry_ldy at 1:18 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Move wherever the schools are best.

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:48 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Seems to me that a house in the suburbs would be a good compromise.


    Answer by beeky at 2:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • A house with a yard so the children can play is a good start. My DH and I are the reverse of you and yours. There are advantages to cities and to rural/small town areas. Right now we're seeing the bad to living in a place with basically no choice on everything from grocery shopping to medical care. The latter being scary.

    I would advise to sit with him and honeslty tell him how you feel and ask the same from him. It's all about compomise sometimes.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:39 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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