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Does confession make sense in this case?

If I had a fling with a friend's husband, but its definitely 100% over, is it still the healthiest choice to confess it? Relationships would be ruined, unless my friend forgave me, which she might. It would be off my chest, but scary to admit.

I don't know. Let me know if it makes sense to your or not.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • If they was still married at the time that the "fling" went on, I wouldn't be able to fogive you or still be friends with you. That is crossing the line in my opion and there is no way that I would ever be trustworthy fo you again or want to see or talk to you again. I think that is very bad of you and her husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I don't think that I would say anything. To me it was a fling, they happen, you move on. But then apparently I have a skewed view of marriage too.

    Answer by auroura at 2:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • NO NO NO NO. Confession would serve no purpose but to hurt her. Take that one to your grave.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • maybe good for you=off your cheast
    but not good for her
    i would not
    i would not have ever done this
    and i usually say tell, when you know someone is cheating, but now that it is over,
    it would only hurt her and her husband

    it was really crappy for you to do this, of course you already know this, so live with the guilt=maybe it will stop you from repeating your cheating, selfish actions

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • when you tell her to her she will see it as you did this just to hurt her for some reason. nothing you say will change how she feels. you need to figure out why you did this to begin with really. you slept with her husband. how would you feel if you were her? what if she slept with you husband? it would be all she would think of every time she even looks at him. does he still cheat on her? if you care about her at all think of her not yourself.

    Answer by SaphiraJFire at 3:06 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • if you are wondering I have been her been the woman my best friend did sleep with my now ex hubby. I been her. married again to good man. her place is hard enough.

    Answer by SaphiraJFire at 3:08 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Well its nice to see all the Puritans that are on CM. Yes I'm human, and I was with a man (only a few times) who was married to my friend. I was lonely as a single mom and he's very good looking. Its just natural that sometimes wrong things like that happen.

    It seems like the consensus is that it doesn't make sense to tell her. I would like to get it off my chest, but will hold off, or maybe tell a counselor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Oct. 9, 2009


    I would never forgive a friend who did this to me. You are not her "friend" at all. You are a selfish, self absorbed person. Only a toxic friend would do this to someone who TRUSTS them. Take it to your grave, & feel the guilt the rest of your life. Like op said, maybe the guilt will keep you from making the same selfish mistakes. Hope you learned a good lesson out of all of this. And i hope her husband rots in hell w/ guilt too. She deserved better than you and her husband. Poor woman, she has no idea she cannot trust those that she thinks she can trust. Sad, sad, sad.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • don't make excuses for yourself, now you just look THAT MUCH more selfish. I'm not a puritan by no means. But your actions are very disgusting, and even some of the more "wild" bunch on here will think so too. It's "natural"? WOW, you are in complete denial that you are a horrible friend. There is something called "self control" & "Common sense" that most of us practice in these situations. It's one thing to have an affair, it's another when it's your friends husband.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:14 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Samurai, yes there is such a thing as self control, and almost every time I use it. But you're like to crucify me because one time I didn't. And you may not think of yourself as Puritan, but for you to call this "disgusting" shows me that you are a Puritan. Even if its with the wrong man, coupling itself is not disgusting, no matter the circumstances. I will try not to make this mistake again, and I don't like that I did it to begin with, but in your world everyone will show total self control and there'd never be an affair for anyone. Of course, single moms would never get laid either, but that's not your problem, is it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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