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Does it bother you that your husband looks at other women?

Ok so we've been through the porn fight and I told him that I flat out didn't like him looking at porn alone instead of me. He's been good about not doing that or at least not where I can find out about it. My problem is that he's been to a strip club twice in the past 6 months. This is not normal for him. The first time he was pissed at me and his friends took him along. The second time was a bachelor party but the bachelor had already bailed on the party and dh's ride bailed too. He went anyway even though we were throwing our girls a b-day party the next day. He was tired and hung over all day. This morning I stumbled across an e-mail he sent to his bro and dad of Octoberfest pics and he said "I like #22 the best" #22 was three girls in low cut dresses with their boobs haging out. I feel like this shouldn't bother me but it does. Should I tell him or just try to get over it? I don't know where to draw the line.

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Rowdyblues

Asked by Rowdyblues at 3:16 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • That's not okay- he's married. LAME, i'm sorry.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:18 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • i'd let him know that it bothered me if i were you and i wouldn't be so nice about it either
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 3:19 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Not at all we are all human and there are many beautiful people in the world. I might even point out a beautiful / sexy girl to him. He does occasionally go to strip clubs with the guys from work, maybe twice a year but thats cool to, he comes home to me all hot and bothered.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 3:20 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Draw the line!! My husband and i did the whole porn thing..Together..and we both decided neither of us liked it. Im sorry, but my husband does NOT look at other women. I know you're thinking Yea RIGHT, but he truley doesnt..and if he does look at another women, he's making fun of her cause shes dressed like a HOE or just lookin all crazy. He just got back from NTC. ( National Training Center) because hes deploying, and he couldnt believe all the porn the guys brought out there..and it was for only 30 days. I think you should draw the line and if i were you my feelings would be sincerely hurt and would feel somewhat betrayed.
    rileygirl

    Answer by rileygirl at 3:22 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • This isn't just "looking." He is wasting family resources on the sex industry. Strip clubs paint women in a light that is counter to how most fathers want their daughters treated. There is behavior here that needs to be resolved.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 3:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Be happy he only LOOKS at them. (Always find the good in life.)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:41 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • This isn't "looking at other women.:" THis is far more and if he values the marriage he needs to STOP.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:41 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Sorry, I think hes married, not dead. I expect my DH to look and you know what, I look too. As long as there is no touchy and i know he is coming home to me at the end of the night, who cares?
    That being said, obviously this is bothering you. You need to talk to him about it, but DON'T make it a confrontation. Just sit down and talk about how it makes you feel. He can find ways to admire women that don't bother you, and you can work on being less sensitive to it, there is middle ground there somewhere that can make you both happy. Obviously he loves you or he would not have given porn up, take confidence from that fact. Remember, men are visual creatures.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 3:42 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I agree with auroura.
    SO and I have a wonderful relationship, and every once in awhile when his nutty friends are in town they will go to a strip club, his friend bought him a subscription to playboy. Not to mention he has some pretty gorgeous female friends.

    There are times, not because of him, that maybe his female friends make me feel uncomfortable, mostly because I feel like they are gorgeous and I am just a mom now.
    I have talked to him, and now it doesn't get to me anymore.

    I think if you can just talk about your feelings in the matter, it will help you both.
    Princessofscots

    Answer by Princessofscots at 3:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • If he isn't obsessed, then I'd say it is just being male. Looking at the goods isn't the same as desiring them or even pursuing them. I agree with the above posters, if I see a really great looking lady I'll point her out to my husband. He's allowed to look. I'm not about to put blinders on him or treat him like a child and say no you can't look.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:06 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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