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husband is BAD with money.....

what do i do??? he is the only one working (im 7mos.pregnant) and have a 2 year old, but he doesnt keep track of ANYTHING he just uses the card all the time like there is a never ending supplyof money in there and doesnt add up anything and we always get overdraft charges! did i menchan this is MY bank account and my card that we share because he cant get an account because he owes money to another bank and is on check systems? and dont tell me im stupid for letting him do that, we need a bank account and i just want some advice on how to help him handle money better, other than telling him hes an idiot (which is what i really wanna do haha)

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bradynsmom222

Asked by bradynsmom222 at 4:53 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Take away his debit card. Give him an allowwance. No, I don't care that hje's the only breadwinner. Its YOUR bank account...you need to be responsible for it and you need to exercise tough love with him.

    Cut up the debit card. He won't be able to get another without you.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Oh. And go to Consumer Credit Counseling Services for advice on budgeting.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:55 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • He can get a bank account called Second Chance banking. A lot of banks do this. It's a lot more stricter than Free Checking, which is understandable, but with some banks, like Wells Fargo, if you don't overdraft at all for, I think it's 6 months or a year, you get converted to Free Checking.
    Don't give him the card then. What I do with our account, is we buy and pay for our necessities. Bills, groceries, diapers, gas, etc. And then we pull out a certain amount of cash for each of us that we can use for our personal stuff that we want to buy. Games, lunch at work, stuff like that.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 4:56 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Check out Dave ramsey there are video's on Hulu of his show and I think on his website. He talks about money in an easy to understand way and can get some lazy money people fired up. He is religious but it makes sense without that part if you aren't.
    Rowdyblues

    Answer by Rowdyblues at 4:56 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Can you get your money and card in your own name, and have a card and account just for him- with a restricted amount on his. Or would it be possible to have a card for him that only carries say, $100, so that he'll have a card for emergencies, but otherwise he would have to use cash? He really needs to take ownership of this problem. He isn't a child that you should need to watch and correct. If he will agree there is a problem, then take what steps are needed to help him. Cash only, if possible. It is very easy to buy with a card and forget that there is the piper to pay in a couple weeks.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • i need the card too though and i dont have a problem with budgeting, and im sorry but how well do you think it will go if i tell him, well u earn the money but u cant spend it and im going to put you on an allowance like a 5 year old, he would laugh at me or spend it before it gets to me
    bradynsmom222

    Answer by bradynsmom222 at 4:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • i agree take it away, let him have a set amount to spend for a set amount of time (like he gets $50 for 2 weeks) that is all he gets, once he can show that he can manage that and still have money left over after his 2 weeks than you can up his amount. when he gets to a point where he understands how to handle things than you can order him a card again. my husband is the only one that works right now, but i handle the bills and everything else, yes he went and earned the money, but he calls me before spending it b/c he knows i'm the one that knows what bills have/have not been paid etc...maybe put it to him as making his life easier? kind of i'll take over the finances for a bit so you don't have to do it when you get home or whatever. and once you get things figured out, sit down w/him and show him how to do it.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 4:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • don't say it like that to him, say it like, i think we should both have this much money a month to spend, and it should only be in cash, we'll keep the card at home unless we are going somewhere we have already discussed using it. that way its BOTH of you not just him, and yes he works, but you are the one home all day dealing with this stuff so you have to have a say in it as well. if he won't budge, maybe take a budgeting class together (you may know how, he obviously doesn't) or make an appointment w/your bank for them to do a financial overview with you, maybe than he'll see what his problems are.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:01 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Definitely do away with the debit card. Those things are bad news even for people who are good with money - overdraft fees suck. As for everything else, I can tell you from experience at being the wife of a guy who sucks at money handling, that the best thing to do is take charge. My DH's checks get auto-deposited into my account, then I tell him exactly how much he has to spend on "other stuff" after the groceries and bills are taken care of. It isn't ideal, of course, b/c a lot of guys will take offense at being given an "allowance", but it is the only way to make sure your credit stays good. Sit him down and explain that his bad money skills are stressing your relationship and your livelihoods, and that he needs to make some big changes or let you be the money master. It needs to be done. I've been there - we just got out of debt from DH's bad checks! 2000$ worth of collection fees from overdraft charges ignored.
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 5:16 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I've tried the allowance thing and it didn't work. We both had set limits but he would still overspend or would hide spending from me because it wasn't his plan. He needs to be a part of the plan and possibly even excited about it. Its not easy but it works when you can get together on it.
    Rowdyblues

    Answer by Rowdyblues at 5:22 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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