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when i have the baby, do i have a say in who gets to hold and have contact with him?

the father of the baby has once again decided to be a douche bag and break up with me ..even after PROPOSING TO ME!! he claims he cant be with me because he doesnt think im going to be a good mom...keep in mind this is my FIRST pregnancy. as a result he's already seeing other women and the one that he's most currently been with seems to be sticking around him and showing interest in my pregnancy. She made a comment that he hasnt forgotten about his son and while probably wont be there for the delivery he and she will come visit often.. i DO NOT want her or him handling my baby without me present..and if i possibly could..dont even want them to visit my son without me knowing about it. does anyone know how this could be arranged or if it's even possible to control who gets to see and hold the baby while in the hospital?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • While in the hospital you could specifically request that only the staff and parents of the children are allowed to have contact with the child.

    But what you need to do is file for custody ASAP. ...and no, you wont have 100% control. When he is visiting the child when you are not around you wont have any say unless you can prove she's abusive.
    File for custody ASAP.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:43 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Yes you can. Tell the hospital the names of people you don't want to be at the hospital or see your baby. If I were you I wouldnt give that baby his last name. I wouldnt even put him as the father.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I have to agree with anonymous.  IF you don't want this man in your life period then don't put his name on the birth certificate.  Most hospitals will let you keep your baby with you at all times, make sure to check and make sure that your child doesn't HAVE to go to the nursery!  If she or he will have to, make sure that you tell the nurses, etc, who is and isn't allowed to see your child.  YES YOU HAVE A SAY!

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 5:45 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • My baby never left my side at the hospital except after visiting hours when the nurses would take him to the nursery for the standard tests and then he was returned to me immediately after the nurses had finished. You don't have to let anyone hold him unless you want. And Katrina3016 is absolutely correct. DO NOT PUT HIS NAME ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Trust me, it will make it a lot easier when you meet that great guy who will marry you and adopt your child. Do what you know is right...
    jessflynn

    Answer by jessflynn at 5:55 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • You can keep your baby in your room. The only time he would be away from you is while he is in the nursery for any tests they usually do. Do not put his name on the birth certificate and file for sole custody. You have to do what you have to do to keep that douche and his skank as far away from your child as possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Are you healthy & low-risk? How about a home birth? It's a lot easier to keep tabs on baby when you're at your own house! (Not to mention it's nice for birthin'!)
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 6:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • KEEP THAT BABY IN YOUR ROOM WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES! MY EX M-I-L TOOK MY FIRST BORN AFTER ONLY 30 MIN OLD AND WALKED AROUND THE ENTIRE HOSPITAL WITH HER(SHE WORKED THERE). I HAD SPECIFICALLY SAID NO ONE IN THE ROOM. SHE WAS IN THE NURSERY AND JUST CAME IN THERE AND SAID I AM THE GRANDMA, AND WALKED AWAY! MY NEXT TWO, MY BABIES DIDN'T LEAVE MY SIDE NOR DID I ALLOW ANY VISITORS
    My3RaysofSun

    Answer by My3RaysofSun at 6:12 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • You absolutely can keep him away. At least while in the hospital. I would file a no contact order soon after delivery.

    Tell the hospital staff your concerns and they will not even allow him on the maternity floor!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 8:30 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • well while i'm in the hospital, my baby stays in the room with me. some hospitals have policies that baby goes to the nursery while mom is sleeping. i would call and make sure they have a rooming-in policy :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I think it depends on the hospital so I would check. . . in my experience, my hospital would not let anyone take the baby out of the nursery who did not have a special wrist band on. Again I'd check with the hospital to make sure. Oh, as for the birth certificate. . . you might not put his name on there but he can file a paternity suit and get visitation/joint custody as well as his name on the birth certificate whether you like it or not.

    chrissmom734

    Answer by chrissmom734 at 10:23 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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