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If you aren't married, how do you work out your child support situations?

My ex- boyfriend and I are good terms with eachother. We hang out and talk on the phone everyday, and I let him see his 6 month old daughter whenever we are both available to meet up. He has a job at a restaurant, but gets paid under the table. I want to start receiving some help from him in a more organized way. You see, he hands me $20 here and there, I'd say he gives me maybe $40-60 a week. But I want to set a specific monthly amount, because some weeks he won't give me anything. And what if some day we aren't on good terms? Plus, I take care of the baby 24/7. So I need to feel like he's doing his part. Help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Me and my SO are one rocky terms and probably about to separate as much as I would like to work everything out so I really need to know the answer to this question as well.
    JocelynsMama1

    Answer by JocelynsMama1 at 8:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • go through the state, social services and child wellfare will help you. if/when he works you will get money directly from his place of work and it's nothing against him bc it's what the state thinks he should pay
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:38 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Go through the child support agency..However, if he gets paid under the table and there isn't any paper trail good luck proving his wages.. Unless he's willing to fully submit all information.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 9:21 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Really what more important to you? That your daughter has a daddy around or the money? You need to job so you don't depend on him for money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I took my son's father to court for child support and it is court ordered and comes out of his check or unemployment when he isn't working. Take him to court, it doesn't matter if you get along or not, you need to do what is right for your child and getting help in supporting your child, is just that.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:12 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • hey anon. how about you get ur head out of ur butt and realize that "having her daddy around" isnt gonna buy diapers. psssssssh. ever heard of reality?
    Bernie19

    Answer by Bernie19 at 10:46 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • i took my ex to court for child support..but me and him werent on speaking terms, i took him when our daughter was 2yrs old..and i hadnt seen him in 3 years or talked to him..i gave him the option of being in her life he chose not to..so..i took him to court..he had never even seen our daughter...so yaa it totally backfired on me takin him, becuse he then decided that because he had to pay he wanted to see her...and the girl tht he was with when all this was happening told him if he isnt involved in his childs life she would leave him..so he started being in her life. soo yaa i started getting money, but i also was forced to make my 2yr old go with complete strangers every weekend..then overnights!! and ya cant really explain to a 2 yr old why this was happening..it sucked!! bigtime!! soooo..considering you ARE on good terms with him, i would leave court outta it!! money is not worth all the shit you will have to go thru!!
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 10:56 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • anon, you need "to grammar". job isn't a verb. and how dare you imply SHE'S not living up to her parental responsibility while letting HIM off the hook financially?
    autodidact

    Answer by autodidact at 10:57 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Just do it legally.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Take him to court. My ex and I share custody of our two kids. We were never married but he is my childrens father. He gets them 3 days then I have them 4. The next week he has them 4 days and I have them 3 days. We don't pay support to each other. He pays all expenses when they are with him I pay all when they are with me. He makes more than me but I am remarried and combined my husband and I make more than enough to care for our kids. I don't like my ex at all think he was the worst boyfriend ever. He is a great dad so I worked with him for our kids. I hate not having them all the time but I know my kids would hate only seeing him every other weekend. Put what you want aside and do what is best for your child which is getting support. Your loser ex needs to get a real job and man up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

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