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What to do if my son doesn't want to see his father

My 4 year old sons father has not seen him in 3 years and is planning to come to Wisconsin in a couple months and wants to see him. I am not sure what to do or say, because I have mentioned it to my fiance and my son overheard what I was saying and started crying because he wants nothing to do with his father. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do.

(just a lil info, i have sole custody of my son, and his father is only allowed supervised visitation. but my sons father has said that he wants nothing to do with my son, but now he wants to see him and i dont want to upset my son by forcing him to see his father.)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • Don't make him go. The sole reason I learned my phone number on a rotary phone at age 3 was to call my mom to rescue me from visitation with my bio-father.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 8:42 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Maybe set it up as an "accident" that you run into him. Go for ice cream, have him there buying ice cream too. Or the playground, or somewhere else that's enjoyable for your child. That way he isn't "forced" to be with the Dad, he could play on the swingset and see that you are with his Dad chatting, and that it must not be so bad if you're with him, so he may hang out with him as well. Or he'll stay on the swings (whatever) and take that as your cue that he really doesn't want anything to do with him.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 8:57 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I would let him meet you at a park. Let your son play, let him watch. If your son wants to talk to him so be it, if not then that is what he gets for being sperm donor thus far. Make sure he understands that and that he may not force the issue. If he can't agree to that, then hell know. You are the mommy and what you say goes.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:03 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Hell No , not know. Opps
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • As long as it is supervised, you should still allow it. People do change and the father and child both have a right to a relationship. I would NOT leave him alone with his father though. Meet somewhere that your son is most comfortable. If he doesn't agree to your conditions, I would not let him see your son. You cannot just outright deny the visits as they are court ordered. You could be held in contempt of court and jailed up to 6 months. I live in Wisconsin and it is stated right in my custody papers. Check with an attorney about what you can and cannot do.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • "I would let him meet you at a park. Let your son play, let him watch. If your son wants to talk to him so be it, if not then that is what he gets for being sperm donor thus far. Make sure he understands that and that he may not force the issue. If he can't agree to that, then hell know. You are the mommy and what you say goes."


    i so agree with her, but you have to be very clear and stearn with the sperm donor. i have no choice and have to make my daughter go see her spern donor and she hates it gets mad at me when she comes home!
    cjsmith08

    Answer by cjsmith08 at 10:37 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • You cannot just outright deny the visits as they are court ordered. You could be held in contempt of court and jailed up to 6 months. I live in Wisconsin and it is stated right in my custody papers. Check with an attorney about what you can and cannot do.



    I know is court ordered that he has is allowed have supervised visitation with reasonible notice given to me but I am going to somone, because it is suppose to be supervised by Washington county, and I live 2 hours away from there now. Maybe I will call them on Monday and see what I have to do. The only advantage that I have is that child support dislikes him very much as well as the judge in the county where my divorce/child support took place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

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