Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

for those of you with divorced parents, do the still talk to each other?

my parents got divorced when i was 16, i'm now 22. since their divorce, they don't talk to each other at all. no phone calls, no 'hi how are you' at my daughters birthday parties or holidays ever. i noticed that my mom and dad don't speak to each other, but my mom will say hi to my step mom and be friendly. this doesn't bother me at all. if they are happy not talking, than good for them. but this question is more about my in laws. my husbands parents are divorced.but his mom and dad still talk. pretty regularly. his dad has had a gf for 12 years,and they are finally getting married in november. his gf doesn't like that he still talks to my mother in law. she says there isn't a reason for them to still talk at all. all of their kids are grown adults. my husband is their youngest,and he is 24 years old. his gf said that after they get married she wants them to stop talking completely. mil says that they have 4 kids together and

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • They will always have a reason to talk to each other because of that. I don’t really agree with that reason. Cause from what I see, with my parents, they don’t need to talk to each other even though they have kids together. We are adults now, we don’t need them to mediate for us anymore. What do you think? Do you think they should still be talking to each other, or do you think his gf is right? I know that my mil is the one who calls my father in law more than he contacts her. And he told me today that he really doesn’t need to talk to her that often, and she is the one who calls him, to talk about their kids or something, and that he wants her to stop calling so much cause his gf is getting pissed about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I can see where the GF is coming from. I would be upset too. And the way it sounds is that your MIL may still hold feelings for your FIL. She may not be consciously aware or be in denial but these constant phone calls are her way of getting her daily "dose" of him, since she can no longer actually BE with him. I think your FIL should tell her to stop himself (in a nice way of course). And if she persists then ignore the calls or change the numbers. They can talk every now and then sure but not as much as you say they do.
    collegemom1007

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 8:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • no, i dont think its wrong that they still talk. im 22, my parents divorced when i was 3. when i was younger, they HATED eachother, my mom had to take my dad to court for child support, my dad would say bad things about my mom, they didnt talk unless they were fighting etc. - eventually that stopped and they became friends because i was not going down the right path in my life, and they realized they needed to be PARENTS together because wether they are romantic anymore or not, they were still parents together. and being a parent doesnt end when your kids are grown, it goes forever. they still talk to this day and they are both remarried. they dont have 3 hr convos on the phone, but every now and then they talk. i also have a stepbrother from my mom and stepfather, and his father and mother still talk, his mother & stepfather are now good friends with all of us and come to our family partys. its a GREAT thing for a child to
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:30 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • see that his parents can still be friends and that they dont hate eachother. it makes them feel more important. i can understand where the girlfriend would be jealous, because im a very jealous person too but you have to think about that when you get involved with someone who has children already, wether there children are 4 or 24, it doesnt matter.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:31 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I am an older divorced mom. I try not to speak to my x but sometimes we do. We try to be friendly but we have to stay away from certain subjects. It upsets his current wife (she's the age of our youngest daughter) if we speak so he sneaks around to talk with me. Sad. She has nothing to be jealous of but she is. If I wanted him I would have kept him when I had him. Our grandson got in trouble lately and I speak to my x about that, not that I want to but he wants to pretend like he cares so he calls to check on things. I don't think there is anything we need to talk about but for some reason he thinks we should stay connected even if by phone. My kids (in their 30's) hate it when they find out we speak so I try to keep it to a minimum.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:12 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Well, my mom and bio-dad were never married, but she talks to him. Not on a daily basis, but once every blue moon and usually when he's missed a child support payment (he's still in arears and Im 23) but she'll be nice and have a conversation with him. Now, my sisters dad, they have had some nice conversations and I've even heard them joking around and laughing over the phone, but only when his girlfriend isnt there. They havent seen each other in person in years. He lives in another state, which is a good thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I'm 48, my parents divorced when I was 23. Not only do my parents not talk, but 25 years later, they can not be invited to family events together. Only one can be invited to a holiday or birthday party, only one can go to a graduation, or other event. Everything has to be celebrated separately. As much hassle as that is, I have to say that it's easier than when they even have contact with someone who knows the other one. My ex (I also divorced at 23) and I have no contact. I would be fine, but I'm the one who left. His wife however is very jealous, and can't seem to be civil, but my son doesn't really have much contact with them, so it hasn't been a big issue.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:38 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.