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How do I get my 12 month old to go to sleep without me?!?!

My daughter is 12 months and is breastfed. She hates her crib all of a sudden. She has never slept through the night since she was born and at the moment she wakes up 2 to 3 times a night. Its gotten worse though because I can't even get her to go to sleep in her crib. She screams nonstop if I leave her in there. Ive tried the crying it out thing and she litterally will not stop crying for hours until I get her out of the crib. What do I do? I want to be able to sleep comfortably in my bed without her and I want to get a full nights sleep..What am I doing wrong?


Asked by Sekzymexi at 10:46 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (8)
  • there is a FANTASTIC article on acheiving this on weaning is not needed. search the site for "sleep."

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:19 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I wanna know too. My 9 month old is in my bed too.

    Answer by Amanduh87 at 10:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • well since you're breastfeeding she may still be hungry. maybe you can keep her latched on for longer than normal before her bedtime, or you can pump, so that way you know how much she wants/needs before bed. breastfed babies don't normally sleep through the night, because the milk goes through their system faster. you say she's 12 months? if you're still wanting to be consistant on breastfeeding, maybe you can ween her down to only bf once or twice a day. she's old enough for milk now, so you can give her milk with her food, and then breastfeed right before bed. you have to make a schedule out and have her used to it. as for at night, pump, give her the bottle when she wakes up. if she instantly goes to sleep cuz she's sucking then it's not cuz she's hungry. if this is the case, don't go in there as soon as she wakes, let her cry for about 10minutes, see if she'll fall back to sleep. if not, feed her, keep doing this

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • until she figures out that you want her to fall asleep on her own. i won't lie, it will be hard. but it works. i did this with both my kids and it worked out great. within a week they were sleeping through the night. it may take a little longer in your case, because of breastfeeding, but it will happen. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • There are other ways than weaning and crying it out. Has she been happy sleeping in a crib? Make one change at a time. First, falling asleep without breastfeeding (if that's what you want), then sleeping in a crib, etc. Also, at a year, you might consider a toddler bed instead. My 2 year old never slept in a crib - she went from our bed to a double bed. It was great for us. Night weaning doesn't equal sleep, and I get frustrated when people who don't know anything about breastfeeding assume the problem is breastfeeding. My baby was night weaned at 9 months, and didn't sleep through the night until 20, or fall asleep on her own.

    Answer by apexmommy at 11:01 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I know she is not waking up in the middle of the night because she is hungry. She just wants to nurse or be held. Lately when she wakes up and realizes shes in the crib she screams bloody murder. She used to not mind the crib at all and when she was younger I could put her in it awake and she would put herself to sleep. Now though I usually nurse her before bed and thats how she falls asleep. Then I put her in her crib. But lately every time I go to lay her down she wakes matter how gentle or quiet I am.

    Answer by Sekzymexi at 11:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I would say that this phase shouldn't last. She might be going through a growth spurt and it's causing her to want to be near you all the time. Keep breastfeeding her when she wants it and let her fall asleep on her own terms. I don't know what kind of parenting you prefer, but I'm an attachment parenting type of girl, I don't like to have my baby cry uneccessarily. Try reading up on Dr. Sears' solution to sleep problems.

    Answer by Milasmommy87 at 11:29 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Sounds like a phase, honestly. Separation anxiety maybe. It should pass... And waking at night is still very normal. My first didn't "sleep through" until he was 2. I still lay down with him at bedtime, but it only takes a few minutes and he's in a twin bed now (he's almost 4).

    Answer by LeanneC at 12:18 AM on Oct. 10, 2009