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Stubborn 3 1/2 year old

My 3 1/2 year old is quite the back talker and tries to run the place some days. I have tried time outs, sometimes effective, I have tried smacking her butt (sometimes without pullups). I have also at times tapped her face and this is most effective get her attention and she stops and listens. But I feel horrible having to resort to this. I mean I do not smack her face, I tap her check so that it gets attention and she does not like it. Am I bad for doing this. I mean in no way do I ever want people to think I am harming my children. But she has to learn to respect her parents and others and talk nice and not throw her fits.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • You are not harming her. You will do much more harm by allowing her to be disrespectful of your authority which will spill over to teachers, coaches, bosses and everyone else to whom she will have to answer. Children have to be taught that they do not rule the universe, and it has to start with them learning they have to obey and respect their parents.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:03 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • i'm gonna get bashed, but mine got soap in her mouth about 2 months ago, she kept spitting all over my floors for the whole day, had spanked, time out, taken away tv, taken away toys, finally i put a dab of soap on my pinkie than placed my pinkie on her tongue. she has not spit since than. i let her rinse it out after maybe a minute, just long enough for her to realize she didn't like it. i felt bad about doing it, but i will not put up with that and she has to know it. i have also taken two fingers and tapped her cheek to get her attention before, she doesn't like it, she thinks its mean and "not nice mommy" but it gets her attention and she listens to what i have to say. but if she does whatever it was again i know to go with something else b/c that didn't work. good luck, i don't know what it is about girls but they think they are in charge, never seen a boy this age act that way. mine does it too sometimes.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Discipline and rewards need to be consistent. The same misdeed and good behavior should be handled the same way every time.
    Remember, when you punish by hitting, you send your child the message that hitting solves problems; either this fits with your world view, or it does not.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:12 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I use to grab my eldest son by the ear it always got his attention. He even says he remembers to listen cause he doesnt want me going for his ears!

    Answer by MarGeee at 11:22 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Is hitting a child the wrong message? I mean come on, that is what is wrong with kids these days. Parents are afraid to correct their child by spanking. There is a difference, hitting so hard that is doesn't just get attention but trama (punching, kicking and so forth) and then just a smack to get the attention and that is it. Too many people just do not want to hurt kids feelings and want to be liked and want to be their childs friend!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • lol No i did the same things with my nieces when they were younger, well my youngest is almost 4 but she learned, i had to tap her mouth, u are not harming ur baby u do what is effective for ur baby, if the timeouts or spankings never worked with my nieces i would be bald... but in no means has it harmed them, they are very respectful children

    Answer by waterlily89 at 12:55 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Spanking a child does not teach them that hitting is ok. There is nothing wrong with disciplining your child with a good spanking or tap on the face. When I'm out in public, I can tell which ones get a spanking and which one gets a time out and talking to. I don't know any child that fears a time out and talking to.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 10:19 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

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