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single married parent?

anyone in here feel like their husband is just some guy that pays the bills and showers at youre house. i am very grateful for all my hubby's hard work but he works alot of overtime and attends college parttime. we have zero time together and though i know our hard work now will pay off in the future it is affecting us now. we have 3 kids who he is wonderful with but they r even starting to miss him.what do we do to not fall apart?i have been holding off talking to him bc then he worries about me too much and i dont want to add stress to his life. i finally did talk to him the other day and now sure as shit he is stressing about me which is not helping either one of us. some one please just tell me we will survive this hectic time in our lives. all apologies for the lengthiness of this post, i know it is a little sloppy!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Oct. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • yeah i'm a married single mom...but that's cuz my dh is deployed.

    just tell him not to stress, that you just want some time alone with him every now and then. hey, at least he does worry about you. some guys wouldn't really care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • you guys will make it. you are doing what you are doing to make your kids lives better. maybe try to have a designated date night once a month for the two of you, and than one designated family night. since you obviously wouldn't be able to do it once a week at least you still get your time w/him once a month and the kids get fun time w/daddy too.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • Wow you sound like us.
    We have 3 kids.
    He's working 60-72 hours a week. 5-6 days a week. 3rd shift. When he's home, he's sleeping. He works 12 hour days.
    We see him for less than an hour over dinner and on Sunday providing he didn't work Saturday night.
    He doesn't even shower here. He takes on at work before he comes home.
    Our 2 year old says "Daddy nie-nie" and "Daddy bye-bye" and sighs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • YEEEEEEEES! i feel you! UGH! Its so comforting to know that I'm not the only one. My Dh goes to work around noon, and doesn't get home till anywhere from 12:30-2:00am. Its so frustrating b/c I feel like I raise our DD as a single parent. He makes good money, but sometimes I wonder if its worth it! Our DD misses him soooo much. She's always calling for him. He works in Mgmnt at UPS so he's gone for crazy hours during the night. His co-worker had a wooden UPS truck that said, "What can brown do for you?" and his young son carved, "Give me my daddy back!" Its heartbreaking. Its such a difficult culture at that company. Work hard and work long. Then, when the economy went sour, all fultimers lost raises, stock, and bonus. I know we have it better than some, but when you bleed brown, and family time is sacrificed on the broken backs of the employees, its heartwrenching! Then he's so exhausted on the weekends.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 11:26 PM on Oct. 9, 2009

  • I'm in the same boat too. My husband works out of town for a week or two at a time. He's only home on the weekends or every other weekend. You would think it gets easier as time goes by but were going on three years and we miss him more each time he leaves. We have a 3 year old son. I just try to remember that we are doing it for the future of our family. Also try to remember that we are very lucky to have husbands that work so hard to provide for their families. It is very trying at times and it does put stress on a relationship, I just count my blessings to have such a wonderful family, a great husband and a good life, even if it isn't perfect. Or normal for that matter. lol
    Mommy0425

    Answer by Mommy0425 at 12:05 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • thank you guys! we have set dates nights but then we break them! i guess we have to be more strict in keeping them. btw what does DD and DH stand for? thanks again...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

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