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How do you connect with your husband?

I feel so detached from my husband. I feel like we have nothing in common and like we don't know each other at all. We've been together for 4 1/2 years and married for 2 1/2. He's not the person I thought he was, or maybe he has just changed. I know I have changed. I'm afraid that instead of growing together, we're growing apart...

What do you do to keep your relationship on track?

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MamaTasha08

Asked by MamaTasha08 at 3:03 AM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • We talk about everything and anything
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:07 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I wish this answer was as simple as talking, but thank you for your reply.
    MamaTasha08

    Answer by MamaTasha08 at 3:10 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • We find things to do that we enjoy together. He loves games... computer games, card games, board games. I picked up Magic the Gathering so I could play with him. We have "tournament Thursdays". I also tried World of Warcraft (yeah, he's a super big nerd, lol). And he celebrates the full moon and meditates with me. We like to read the same kinds of books, and he's the manager of a Hastings store, so he picks up books he thinks we would like and reads them and then passes them on. It's nice when we can discuss books and characters and ideas we liked.

    Both of you should make an effort to be involved in things the other likes. If neither of you have hobbies, start one. Get a "show"... one that makes you think and want to discuss the episode with your husband. Paint, start an indoor garden. SOMETHING you can do together.

    And make love. That's almighty important as well.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:30 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • it's so easy to get stuck in a rut! I think you need to communicate this to him. For me, I love my DH more or less depending on my cycle, like a week or two out of the month I feel like we have nothing, we are just roomates. but after that I love him again and in the meantime, nothing has changed.
    But a counselor once told me that if a relationship is not nurtured, it will die. If it is nurtured, it will bloom.
    Having sex helps me connect to my husband. Going out, getting a babysitter, having a few days away, with girlfriends or family. sometimes you gotta make them miss you. Nurture however you like. If that doesn't work, maybe try counseling. Much love and best wishes to you.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 3:43 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Marriage is really hard, you always have to work on it to keep things alive, people fall in love get married and life just seems perfect, then you have kids and life changes completely, people grow up, attitudes change and it just gets harder all together, it's not just you and your hubby anymore, all the attention goes to the baby, that's when things can go south really fast. You should always make time to talk to each other, dig for the real reason why you feel that way, you might be surprised. Seeking for answers from other people really won't help you much cuz all you will get is just a bunch of opinions and bashing, best thing to do is go to your husband and tell him how you feel and what you don't feel from him. If you think there is still hope for your marriage don't give up on it, communicate with your man cuz that's the key to a lot of answers. Good luck and God bless

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:51 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I remember the good ol days when we didnt have kids (dont get me wrong I love my kiddos!) and we could lay around the house, sleep, make love, eat, and sleep, repeat with a shower here and there, but not anymore. I gotta fight my 3, 1, or 4 month old for some time alone with daddy. We nurture US. We make time for US. We just hit 4 years married and know that since we are in this for the long run we gotta get involved in eachothers interest, make time for sex, and find time to be alone and be friends the way we used to be.
    cynthiaesquivel

    Answer by cynthiaesquivel at 3:53 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • i SO agree with the OP...he isnt who i thought he was....we are in constant fights lately...so sick of it! so if there is any good advice im all ears....for real!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • ok i have 2 say i'm in the same trouble...same year mark....not the same people......not sure how 2 "get 2 know" each other again....it's hard we fight all the time! i wish i had advice 4 u! good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Now the real work begins.


    What are your personal goals?  Yours, where do you see yourself in the next five years.


    Same with him.


    Then focus on those goals to meet them.  Put all those energies on them. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • i dont know if you have any religious beliefs... but my husband and i are doing the love dare. it is a religious marriage help book. it is definately something to look into.... even if you are not religious. it gives you 40 daily challenges and is something that you can do solo or with your husband. most people do the challenges solo and not tell their spouse that they are following the book... the challenges include things like... think of something that you like about your spouse and tell them. hold your anger and not say anything negative to your spouse for the day.
    we are only on day 7 and i can already see an improvement. there is a movie that goes along with the book. it has pretty bad acting, but it sends a powerful message
    IGotLuckyInKy

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 10:04 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

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