Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would it be too soon?

My long-term boyfriend and I broke up this week. One of the reasons being we didn't agree on more children. My heart is aching because we deeply love one another regardless of the end result. However, I am thinking about dating again. I'm in my late 30's and would like to get married and have a baby. Part of me feels guilty because my ex is very dear to my heart. Is this the right thing to do? I don't want a rebound relationship, but I'm not getting any younger.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It is too soon. Your emotions aren't settled at all yet. Focus on your life as a single person and enjoying it to the max without relying on another person. If you meet someone you like, keep it slow. Work on making and being friends. Make sure you feel good and confident about yourself before you consider another love. Good luck!

    Answer by Bmat at 9:09 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Know harm in dating. That doesn't mean you have to get serious. Like you said you are not in your 20's anymore.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:25 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • You say long term, and mention "more" children, so I am going to assume you've been with him for several years, so I would say yes, it's probably too soon. You need time to heal, to think about what went on and that you are ready to love someone else. You say you don't want a rebound relationship, and at this point, I think that's exactly what you would get. You could even find yourself having another child with someone you haven't dated very long simply b/c they say that's what they want, and that's why you and your boyfriend broke up. I'd wait, at the very least, at least a few weeks. Then, you could start dating, but take it very slow and keep it very casual. Good luck.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:27 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • i wouldnt be able to be with someone who didnt want more children either. i dont see why you cant date. the best way to get over someone is by dating other people sometimes, just dont jump into anything too serious too soon.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:13 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Breaking up is the right thing to do if both of you are sure you can't agree on the issue of more kids. That's not something you can compromise on.

    You are looking for a man to be the father of your children. Is it too soon to date? What do you mean by date? If you mean have sex and maybe get pregnant, it's too soon. It's not to soon to go out and have fun with a guy and get to know him with no sex.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:31 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • if you still have feelings for your ex,u shouldnt try to start a new relationship so soon,give yourself time 2 enjoy life with your kids and give yourself more time 2 make sure its really over b4 u jump into something else,esp if your kids cared about him 2,they need time 2 accept your break up 2.

    Answer by mommylove74 at 7:21 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.