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WHat to do..

Ok so every year we spend Thanksgiving with my hubbys parents and then I load the kids in the car and drive 3 hours to my families farm to spend the weekend. We spend Christmas Eve with his parents then get up Christmas Day and drive to my families, Last year we had to switch things as I was pregnant and high risk so I couldn't travel after Thanksgiving so we went to my families for Thanks giving and stayed here and did Christmas with his parents. Now this year I don't know what to do, I kinda liked not having to jump up and tear the kids away from their toys to go 3 hours away on Christmas, but his parents didn't really act like they enjoyed us being there Christmas and I love my family and do miss them when I miss family get togethers, there are a LOT of us so we don't get together often. SO I am torn, do we switch things up again this year and make it our regular thing or go back to how we did it before? Con't..

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Holidays

Answers (7)
  • Con't.... I don't get along with his parents that well, but we try to be fair with holidays, even though I missed alot of holidays last year with my family and they acted like they didn't care or really want us at there house, they only want the kids there and my hubby, just not me. I just am not sure what to do! Help!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Do you have to travel at all? Meaning, can they come to you for a switch, so that you aren't pulling the kids out and about and running all over the place? That way, you could have both families over at the same time - either on Thanksgiving, or on Christmas, or on a totally different day that you all set aside to spend time with family during the holidays.

    Or, you could do a different day and do it at their house.

    But, if you do want to go, then I would try something like - Thanksgiving at one, Christmas at the other - then switch the next year, or Thanksgiving alternated with the families, Christmas at home, something like that.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:03 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • LOL! Been there done that. What you need to do is tell your families that you are now going to start having your own family get togethers. You have children- they have a right to stay at home and enjoy their Christmas'. You have to be firm about this, because it's just impossible to make everyone happy. We started doing this after it all got to be too much. Tell your families they are welcome to stop in and visit your family at your home, but that's the extent of it. Enjoy your holidays with your kids, that's where the good memories come in. You might have to do your own holiday cooking, but it's worth it. I've talked to so many people and they say that the reason they do all the traveling and visiting is simply to get out of cooking. You can't do that... Even if you serve snacks throughout the day, do it. It's your life Girl. Make your own family memories.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • why not just spend the holidays with just your hubby and kids, but invite your other families over to stop by if they want to come?

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 11:09 AM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • We were starting to have rushed Christmas days with MY family because everyone wanted to stay home and let their kids play BUT They stil wanted to get together. So we stopped doing the big meals and opted for just meeting up in the evening. We have been doing that for 3 yrs. It sucks. My cousin is divorced so she has to give her daughter to the daddy at 2pm so she hasnt been there and it sooo rushed! So THIS yr we have decided to get together the Sunday after Christmas. We will cook a big meal like the old days and have TIME to enjoy each other. The decorations will still be up! No where does it say you HAVE ro celebrate on a certain day! Your thanksgiving idea seems good...why not do the same sort of thing for christmas. Or you could todo HIS family the weekend before and YOURS the weekend after? Good luck. I know thats hard. But kids LOVE a week long christmas :)


    Answer by momof030404 at 4:45 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Ok this is what we did and now do... we did use to get up and go to all of the parents homes...NOW that our gs (I have custody of my grandson) is 8 and to us it's a pain to have to take off and travel when our families have all grown children (except for my oldest dd with 3 children) can better travel to us... we flat out told them that we are NOT doing the traveling for the next few yrs. it's unfair to our gs and with them having no children to pack up and go it would be easier for us(me) to do all of the holiday dinners no matter how many... this was a few yrs back... Now we go to my MIL's for Thanksgiving and even spend the night there... visit with my family too (they don't live to far from ea other) but Christmas is here... it's usually just before or just after Christmas either both sides come together or I cook seperate dinners (don't mind) this yr all are coming together the day after...

    Answer by gmasboy at 7:42 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I would try to work something out... since your family lives so far, can they come to you? or how about just before or after Christmas visiting for you and your family...
    As for Thanksgiving go to your inlaws and spend the weekend with your family... but as for christmas I have a hard time now, packing up and pulling away children from THEIR day....
    Good Luck...

    Answer by gmasboy at 7:45 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

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