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Surviving a break up from an emotional affair.

I had been having an emotiona affair with my best guy friend for over 6 year. The reason it never went any further than that was becaue he moved to another state before the emotional affair took place. I got married 3 years ago and have been dealing with some hardships, as I'm sure every one does, and I let this friend console me. He was married long before I was and for much longer than I. He was there for me through my miscarriage when my husband was not. I told him that what our relationship had turned into was no longer appropriate; and that we needed to break it off now. So we did, and now I am heart broken. I love my husband and never intend on divorcing him, but now I feel like my world is crumbling underneth me. I want to get over this quick so I can be present for my family. HELP. How can I get over my affair?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I can understand what you are going I am going through the same thing. I am just taking it one day at a time and keep telling myself that I do love my husband and I have a good life. Things are the way they should be. I try to busy myself as much as possible and avoid thinking about the other man. He is married also and to tell you the truth I tell myself he is a scum bag for doing this to his wife and if he will do this to her he will do it to me also. It helps the hurt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Emotional affair. Do you mean this was a friend that happens to be male? Whats wrong with that?

    Answer by Gailll at 12:27 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Gaill an emotional affair is when someone confides in a person of the opposite sex on a personal level and share things with them that they should share with their spouse. Emotinal affairs often end in spouses leaving their families for the other person. Its a worse kind of affair worser than just having sex and never meeting that person again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I agree 12:53! An emotional affair, and one that lasted 6 years--before and during the OP's marriage, IMO, means she never really gave her heart to her husband. Which is indicative that you may have never TRULY been IN love with your husband--love him, sure, but IN love, no.

    When you can no longer open up to your spouse, and turn to someone else--especially another man--to console you, to comfort you, to make you feel good, then I;m afraid, the marriage is over or at the very least in peril!

    As hard as it is going to be, I recommend coming clean WITH the help of a marriage counselor--who will help you BOTH to make sense of things, and hopefully give you the tools and guidance you need to get through this and rebuild your relationship. It WILL be very hard, but if you are BOTH committed to the relationship, and WANT to make it happen, you will be able to!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:38 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I'm probably going to be the odd one out here, but is your husband a good man? You said he wasn't there for you when you had a miscarriage, does he care about you or is he just getting territorial over his "property"? If you are actually married to a good man, try counseling. If you're with a jerk, that's probably why you needed someone else in the 1st place. Cheating is wrong, but since it has already happened in your case I'm just trying to help you figure out why it happened in the 1st place. Good luck!


    Answer by Wifey2Watson at 2:44 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Good for you for moving on. Honestly, I commend you for that. I hope your husband and your relationship grows stronger after this. Ever consider counseling? I think everyone can benefit from it. : )

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Oct. 10, 2009