Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

is this nagging or being worried about financial security?

ive come to the conclusion that my husband is an idiot. he can't reenlist in the army in december because he screwed that all up, and we only manage to save $100 a month somehow. it's not my fault because i only use money for what we need. we only had $100 in our savings and a little in checking til he gets paid in a few days and he went out twice this week to bars and spent over $60 both times and overdrew checking so they took it from savings. seeing as how he wont have a job soon i got royally pissed and let him have it but he of course doesn't want to hear it. no i don't work because we were fine with me being a sahm til now, this news was just sprung on us and im 6 months pregnant so getting a job is out of the question for a few months. how can i make him see how stupid he's being?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Motivate him to do better. It means making yourself someone that he respects. And this means treating him like a king. It's called leading from the back. Make him feel important. He probably feels that he is a failure right now. Find what positive things you can to say about him. Never call him names or talk about his failures. Talk about his successes and talents. Help him in his job search- show him where the employment offices are, for example, help him write out his resume. See if you can keep an account in only your name so that he won't be able to take the money out. It would be best to keep this low key- not hide it from him, that wouldn't be right in a marriage, - but tell him that you'd feel more comfortable knowing there is your own money in there (your share of his earnings at this point, and in the future.) Counseling may be needed.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:44 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Wow, thats a tough one.  He sounds like he still has a lot of growing up to do.  Good luck with that. 

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 12:15 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • op

    not to mention healthcare coverage for me and the kids will virtually end when he's out, and this baby is due a month after he gets out, so i have to go and find healthcare and switch doctors in the last month of my pregnancy. he still gets medical for 5 years so it's no skin off his back. god he's such an asshole.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • calmly tell him you belive in him and you want things in order,be supportive yes! he is on the wrong but you have to think of your family right now if thats what your gonna put first based on what you have said.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 12:20 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Is staying with him worth the trouble? Do you think he will do financially good in the civilian world.  Or are you all going to be living on PA?

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:22 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Answered at 12:22 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 by: louise2
    Is staying with him worth the trouble? Do you think he will do financially good in the civilian world. Or are you all going to be living on PA?


    true. im sure we'll be on pa for a while. but i dont want to have to be on it any longer than necessary.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • There are two in this marriage and decision making. You had chooses too. Not fair to lump all the responsibility on his shoulders. Call your husband names is not helping and doesn't make you look any better for marrying him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Oct. 10, 2009