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I think my son is a bully

How do I get him to understand and to stop punching, kicking and throwing things? He does it to me and Im 26wks pregnant. I also watch a 6mth old and he does it to him. Hes been trying to climb me as well and digging his elbows and hands into my belly, legs and pelvis. Im so tired of this. He is two now and has been doing it since he was 1. Ive just been throwing whatever he threw at me behind the couch and sometimes Ill make him sit in timeout but he doesnt stay and a swat on the butt doesnt do anything anymore.

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Asked by mrsmilander at 12:54 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • sounds like you need to enforce rules 150%. he may throw a fit and scream, but who cares. He needs to learn that it is unacceptable and if you let him get away with it just once he will think he can get away with it anytime.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 12:59 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Twos are a very tough time for little ones. Consistency with reason and method of discipline are ultra important. Have you ever seen Super Nanny on ABC tv? There are reruns too on different tv channels plus on the website. Maybe her episodes could give you pointers in real time while you're going through this.

    By the time my second baby rolled around hit her twos and threes I learned to be more forceful and consistent. I explained frequently selfrespect and respect to others and things and set rules of behavior. And followed through. And for me personally wearing a headset or ear plugs lessened my nerves stress but still allowed me to hear my child's behavior good and bad.

    Stay focused on the wrong at the time of it and punish same each time for same 'offense'. It'll get better, it will. Don't freak out stay in charge calmly.

    Answer by lfl at 1:02 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Honestly, I think kids that age can be pretty physical by nature. It is normal, but that doesn't mean we don't have to teach them not to do it...just that it is not shocking when they do. Do you notice a pattern when he does it? If you do, you could try to stop it before it happens. Is he angry or just trying to get attention? I know it may sound counter-intuitive, but it may help to give him more attention. Try not to give him attention in direct response to the physical "aggression" but before he even does anything. I don't think it is a good idea to hit him, because then he will learn that might is right and hitting is the way to handle things. That is the opposite of what you want to teach him if you are afraid he is going to be a bully. You want him to learn the value of being nice and getting focus on that.

    Answer by BJoan at 1:03 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • oh i didnt mean "who cares" how it came out. what i meant was let him throw his fit and then he will go onto a different activity, as long as he isnt hurting himself or others. my apologys mrsmilader:)

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 1:05 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Don't do time- out or spank him. I was just on the phone talking about this. My pregnant cuzin's son is asking more for her attention since she's more tired than b4 prego. (Which is what I think is happening in ur case). Try to resolve his frustration b4 it gets to punching/throwing. I'm sure he gives u some signs. Ask him what he wants. Also, is the 6mos playing w/ DS toys? He's also at the age where he sees u as his possession. Doesn't want to share u w/ the other baby. This is very normal.

    If he gets uncontrollable (punching nonstop, tantrum) cross his arms on his chest and hold him. This will help him release his frustration.

    Answer by Vero0724 at 1:05 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Try not calling your child names like bully. Instead describe the behavior. My child acts like a bully. Describing the behavior makes the situation sound changable and doesn't give him a label.

    As you have found punishment like time outs and hitting does not teach good behavior. It may stop bad behavior. Your son is a good example of a child that has gotten to the point that punishment doesn't stop the bad behavior.

    When you use punishment it is called being an athoritarian parent. The parenting style that has been found to be most effective, to have the happiest parents and children, and to have the best outcomes is called athoritative parenting.

    This is theory that you might want to read about by doing a google search. Right now you need practical help. I think the book Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary is best for toddlers. She has a site called Star Parenting. The book changed my life.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • if it helps im having the same problems and im at a complete lost. except my 2 year old pushes my 9 month old daughter into walls and is just mean

    Answer by BabyBuzz at 2:06 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

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