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How can I get through what I started without giving into depression? What's wrong with me... why can't I find a love that will last a lifetime? (no bashing please... this is hard enough for me already)

I am single now (for a couple of weeks and it was my choice) & having a hard time dealing with losing the one that I loved and being alone... I hope to one day find that special person for me & my son but its hard since I live in a small town. I know that I shouldn't feel that lonely since my ex was never really around when we were together. I just want love... that's all. I wanna get married, have a great step dad for my son & have more children but from the looks of it, that is never going to happen. I am 25 and my son is 6... why is finding a good guy so hard for me. I can feel myself breaking while I should be smiling because I got myself out of a dysfunctional relationship that wouldn't & never has went anywhere... he wanted to try again since he quit drinking but I know that I am to weak and insecure to go back. As he is moving on, I am falling... I feel like a failure. Why couldn't he have just loved me like I deserved.

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ProudMom_5703

Asked by ProudMom_5703 at 1:34 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (-7 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I have a 21 year old son that wants a girl friend so badly. He would treat her so nice and any girl would be lucky to be his girl friend.

    He was interested in a girl at work that just told him yesterday that she liked him as a friend but would never go out with him. He is so sad. Something I tell him is to plan your life like you are going to be single and then if you find love it is a happy surprise. He kind of likes that. I think it fits for you.

    I became a single mom while pregnant with my third child. I had 2 sons from a previous marriage that were 5 and 8. I decided not to date. It was just too complicated. It's been 21 years and I have loved being single. I have a dog. You don't have to have a man to complete you.

    That said, there are good guys like my son. Doesn't drink, smoke, has a job, a house, a car, treats women great, and likes kids, dogs & cats.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:46 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I'm sorry to hear about your break up. But I just recently broke up with my bf of 11 yrs for similiar reasons. All I can say is that maybe me you are better off. I got involved with someone who did not get along with my daughter and now she's 15 and they have no relationship and it hurts but it's time to move on. We can not be unhappy any longer I just have to figure out how it seems really difficult to move on. But I know this many people breakup and they figure it out and are able to find their happiness alone or with someone else. Thinking of that gives me strength and courage to move foward. You can email me if you want. Jenlesly@aol.com
    jenlesly

    Answer by jenlesly at 1:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Losing a relationship is very stressful. Stress can make us feel lonely and worthless. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve of the death of the relationship, since that what it is. Make a list of all of your good points and everything that is good for you- if you are healthy, if your child is healthy, and so forth. You know that you are an attractive and caring person. Work on making a life for yourself and your child- he comes first, of course. He needs his mom to be content. Think about what you can do to make life good for him. Look around to groups that you can join. Maybe meet other mothers at school and volunteer.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:49 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Hi! I know this is easier said than done but is honestly worked for me and gave me so much peace. I think you can meet a quality and deserving person after you are content being single. When I decided to be content and at peace about it mediocre men didn't appeal to me anymore because I wasn't aggressively searching. There is obviously so much more to be said but please don't settle. : )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • it is ver hard and i am so sorry for u,give up on looking,i did and almost a year later i found my huspand and he found me,try not to think about it,do ur hair and makeup and do extra activities with ur child,love will come to u i belive this.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 11:25 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

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