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Would you visit your family if no one showed any interest in seeing you?

I've asked questions on here before about visit my family on the west coast. Specifically my brother sister, whom I haven't spoken with in over a year. Both of my parents are dead, and my siblings and I are not close. But, my uncle and a couple of my aunts (whom I'm slightly close to), really want to see my 12 month old. So I figured I'd go out there to visit. I'd also like to visit my parent's grave, and put some flowers on them.

It just saddens me that my own brother and sister haven't called me to say they want to see me. I don't know THEIR phone numbers, and I don't even know where my brother lives!! My uncle told my sister I was visiting, and he told her to call me...that was a week ago, and still no call.

Do you think I should just cancel the whole damn trip and forget about it? I guess I'm just feeling hurt that my own siblings don't seem to care whether I'm alive or dead.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would go to see that family that does want to see you! Personally if you make every effort to make contact with the rest of your family and they don't try to get in touch with you atleast you can say that you tried. I may not change a thing but you tried. I would go and have a wonderful time with your aunt and uncle.

    Answer by Katysmom at 3:39 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I haven't seen my mother or sister for over 10 years. I don't know where my sister is. My kids are now adults and she never sent them birthday cards or gave them presents. She didn't want to be a mom and once my grandmother and father died she didn't want to see us at all.

    I see moms or sisters that are friends and I wish I had that. I had 3 sons and have one DIL. My DIL has issues and I try my best with her.

    Take the trip if you want to go on a trip. Don't let your family hurt you.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:31 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I'd go only if you can come to resolution ahead of time to put aside your brother and sister, tell your aunt and uncle that you want to come but only if they agree that they will not try to reach your siblings on your behalf.

    I have two kids in their twenties and one a teen. My mother has only ever wanted to see us on holidays. My kids do not keep in touch with her and she does not understand why. She does not like that I want a partner relationship with my husband instead of him being household head.

    Do what is good absolute for your family. At this point in time it seems that what's good is for you to be nurtured by you aunt and uncle in your visit. Rest in your heart that you opened communication with your siblings, they refused. But you offered renewal.

    If your heart just can't rest because of no communication with your siblings. I'm not sure I'd go if they all live near each other. That could be bad drama..

    Answer by lfl at 3:48 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • ...That could be bad drama.... in a short visit. If you don't guy, probably they have a computer? I'm not real computer savy at all but somehow a camera can work actually on a computer screen itself or sitting on top of a computer. Try skype or ichat cameras.

    Hope your heart can rest and you can enjoy your family. If your siblings live near your aunt and uncle maybe you seeing your aunt and uncle, and not your siblings will someday help them to understand they're refusal to see you hasn't stopped you from enjoying your family who clearly loves you very much.

    Answer by lfl at 3:51 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • okay i remember this before,i think you should stop your fit now,you need to see things for what they are,they dont give a D a R n if your visiting,but look at it this way your uncle and aunt have shown interest in your visiting so stop your sadness and show your baby starting now that you dont need anyone acceptance to be happy,i think you should give them a call when you get there to give it a last chance, even try to get the fb info just to keep updated if they dont care its over.i think when people hurt you the way you act is something your gonna continue doing and eventually show your kids to do,now what would you tell your baby if they were in your shoes?btw is there anything you did to them to have them be mad? were you moms favorite or something cause im not getting it.GO! and have fun never give anyone the key to your happiness.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 4:02 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I can relate to the sibling thing. I have an older sister, older brother and younger sister. All of us sisters live within 25 minutes of each other, and if I fell off the face of the earth, my sisters wouldn't probably even notice. My brother is okay, but he lives in FL. and I would prefer not to get him involved with my sister issues. Personally, I'd go to visit your aunt and place flowers on your parent's graves. If the siblings have a problem with this, too bad! I go on a "live and let live" attitude with my sisters, and I feel that in the end, it's their loss to not have a relationship with my kids.
    Good luck,Sweetie!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Oct. 10, 2009